Ponyboy: 50 years later

Ch. 1: Remembering

I loved sunsets. The colors of the sky, the clouds parting, the fading of the sun's light, everything. Watching them them seemed to control my imagination, and reminded me of the times when I lived in Tulsa. My friends, the places we went, the memories we made--one of which involved sunsets. It was the day me and my friend Johnny sat on the back of a church we were hiding in and watched an unforgettable sunrise. Although those memories never left, I always had a feeling when I was in a similar place. Kind of like a lonely feeling. I hated feeling alone, and when I hated it, I felt lonelier. That feeling went through me right then, and the sunset seemed less comforting. I looked around and jumped. I'm at the church. I'm here. My head began spinning, and then I saw a familiar dark headed boy with large black eyes. Johnny. "Johnny!" I screamed. He didn't even look at me. I screamed again, "Johnny, I'm right here." He suddenly yelled and fell down unconscious. "Johnny!" Then someone shook me. "Pony?" I opened my eyes and found myself sweating and shaking. I looked around and it was dark, early morning. "Pony? You alright?" I jumped at hearing a voice and then turned around. I could barely see her but I knew it was Chelsey. "I'm fine." I said blankly.
"You sure?" She sounded tired, "You were screaming in your sleep again." I felt bad, I had been waking her up almost every other night now, and causing my wife to loose sleep really bothered me. Maybe even more than it bothered her. I sighed, "I'm really sorry honey, I know you haven't gotten much sleep lately."
She sighed too, "Neither have you. And you need it more than me. We should figure what this is all about." I wanted to know why I couldn't get much sleep lately, but I didn't at the same time. Ever since I had talked to Darry about visiting Tulsa, I had been having more nightmares of Johnny and Dallas. Even Soda. I shook my head. "I'm fine, dear. Really. I just miss some friends from Tulsa." She knew all about my childhood in Tulsa, growing up with the gang and all. She propped herself up on her elbow. "You know, if you miss them, we could always go visit." I thought long and hard for a minute. Last time when I visited, I could hardly stand it. Everywhere I went there was a memory, one that I hated so much I could've cried or one that I missed so much I wanted to cry. I decided to talk about this later when I wasn't so tired.
"Let's talk about this in the mornin'." I confirmed. Then Chelsey settled back down on her side.
"So a couple of hours?"
I breathed out a laugh, said goodnight and then hoped to fall back asleep without having another nightmare.
~
I woke up again around six. But I didn't have a nightmare so I was happy about that. Light was streaming through the window and I crawled out of bed. I wanted to go watch the sunrise. When I walked through the other end of the house towards the back porch I thought I was in a dream again, but when I accidentally ran into the hallway table and knocked down a picture frame I knew it wasn't. I bent down to pick it up and smiled when I saw what was inside the frame, as if I didn't know what it was. It was a Tulsa Times paper with the headline "Local Teen Writes Outstanding Theme". The date on the paper was marked as 1967. How time flies. I set it back on the table and continued for the back porch. When I opened the door, the summer air drew my breath out. I love the country, I thought. The view of the field seemed infinite as the white fence lined across the borders out into the open. On top of it all laid the sunrise, pink and bright orange. Breathtaking. I remember dreaming about living out here when I was 14. It's weird to think that was 50 years ago. Seems like yesterday, maybe that was because I dream about Tulsa so much. I felt my eyes well up. I didn't want to go back, how could I stand it? It was bad enough loosing Johnny and Dallas. Then a year later when Sodapop got drafted to Vietnam and died there I decided to move out of state after I graduated from high school. I thought that would've solved things, moving away from home but it didn't. I began having dreams when I met Chelsey and told her the stories from there. They were only monthly, but the more I pushed them away, the more they returned. It was a cycle. A never ending cycle that I was sick of. Every year when I visited, the dreams stopped but it was too painful to go and see the places that had taken so many loved ones. I suddenly heard footsteps behind me, and turned to see Chelsey. Her brown eyes looked tired and her light caramel hair touched with gray was all over the place. I've been waking her up too much, I thought. This needs to be sorted out, but how on earth can I stand going back to Tulsa? A breeze suddenly swooped across and I heard a voice go through my head. Johnny's voice. "Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold." I gulped. I have to sort this out. If there's anything that can cure this, it's going back home. My eyes were still welling up a bit and I walked towards Chelsey and hugged her. She hugged tight and said, "You need to go back, don't you?"
I sighed, "Ya, I think it would be best." I kissed the top of her head and looked back at the sunrise. The pink had faded away, and it was now a bright orange all around. I breathed in deep, I'm going home.