Ponyboy: 50 years later

Ch. 3 Packing

"You're not having second thoughts, are you?"
I looked at Chelsey. "Me? No, why?"
"You just seem nervous." And then she handed me a pair of folded shirts. I took them, and noticed my hands were shaking. I swallowed, "I'm not nervous." She glanced at my hands and I forced them to stay still. "Just thinking." I added. I put the shirts into my open navy suitcase lying on the bed and turned to her direction to receive more clothing. Instead of handing me anything, she was staring at me.
"Really, I'm fine." And reached across the bed to grab my jeans. She reached out to grab my arm and I suddenly had a flashback. It was someone else throwing their hand out at me, but in an agressivish way. I jumped back and the look on her face looked similar to the face of the person who threw their hand: wide-eyed and surprised. I gulped, "Sorry, another--."

"Flashback?" She finished. I nodded. Chelsey sighed and began folding another pair of jeans, "I'm really worried. Should we really go? What if--" This time I reached out my hand.

"I have another meltdown?" I half smiled. "I was researching what to do when you dream about places that you have so many memories of." I took the pair of jeans and finished folding them. "It said that it's best to visit where it all took place to see if there are any unfinished business."

"Well what about last time?" Chelsey understood, but was concerned. You would have to really know her to see that."

I shrugged, "I guess that's part of the process. And we left before it finished." I put the jeans in my suitcase and grabbed another pair. That meltdown was 11 years ago, why was everyone still freaking out about it? It's not like Chris and Kristy were kids. They were 23, Chelsey was 49, and I was 53. And it was more of my problem then theirs, I never understood why they made such a big deal about it.

Chelsey walked over to my side of the bed, "Honey, even though I'm not sure what is best to do, I support you." She sighed, "Maybe you're right, there's unfinished business there. And if leaving is what caused these problems 11 years ago, I just hope you try to avoid it this time." She shuddered for a second, "I mean, I'm just a bit scared but--."

I cut her off and hugged her, "I'm scared too. But I think this will fix it. We'll only be there for 5 days, and it'll be over that quick. I mean heck, we should see progress by 10:00 tomorrow morning."

She hugged back, "Well, let's hope."

~

Later that night, Chelsey went to bed early (she doesn't fly well so she wanted to get some extra rest). I was up late, however. I couldn't stop thinking about tomorrow. One minute, this seemed like a good idea. The next, it seemed like the worst in the world. I took a sip of my coffee in the living room then stared down at my mug. In less than 24 hours, I will be in Tulsa, my hometown. I thought for a while, is this a good idea? "Shut up, Pony" I thought to myself. "You can't back out now. Damnit the flights are already booked." I put the mug on the table and grabbed the remote, but as I looked at the TV, I saw another figure sitting next to me. They were in a soldier suit and their hair was combed back. I jumped when I saw him, but as I turned to look at my side I realized no one was there. I suddenly felt light-headed and realized I had been holding my breath. I glanced back at the TV and no one was there. I shivered and turned on the TV, must have been my imagination again. I browsed through the channels: Mickey Mouse Cartoons, Vietnam 1955-75, Best Cars of the 60s...I shivered again. They were all topics related to my childhood. I turned off the TV, was relieved to see only myself, and decided to head to bed. 5 days, less than a week.

~

I only had a small dream that night, it was about a figure in a soldier uniform. He had darkish gold hair and was tall, but I only saw him from behind, I never saw his face. Was this the same figure I saw in the reflection of the TV? I walked up to him from behind and was about to tap on their shoulder, but then I woke up. It was 6:30 and our flight was leaving at 9 so it was time to get up anyway. I woke up Chelsey and then rolled out of bed. We got onto our usual morning routines, and while I was brushing my teeth, I remembered what we were about to do: heading to Tulsa. But I also realized for the first time since we had booked the trip, was that I felt less scared. Almost excited, what a relief though. Chris and Kristy came by around 7, and I went over the rules with Chris one more time while Chelsey fixed up some coffee for the road. Then we went out to our Ford truck, said goodbye to the kids, and started towards the airport. After 5 minutes of sipping coffee and no talking, Chelsey finally said, "You nervous?" I shook my head and took another sip of my coffee, "Actually no. I slept pretty well last night too." She smiled and patted my shoulder, "Glad to hear. We're already off to a good start." I grinned, "Looks like it, let's hope it ends good too."