Prompts

Rants

Nothing works in my brain right now. I can't write I can't make cohesive thoughts. It's all so hard because I don't know what the fuck is happening to me. Why can I not write out how I feel, I can always write out how I feel but something is blocking me this time. I get angry and then I write long strings of curses that don't mean anything. I'm so upset that I can't put my feelings into words and it frustrates me so much. Ughhhh! I hate myself right now. What the fuck am I doing. I rearranged my whole room because maybe some change in my life will make me realize that I have to change my relationship with you. There should be no relationship with you because i put in too much work for you to put in none. So fuck me! I don't know how to elegantly write this but I guess saying it out right is the best way. I don't want you in my life anymore. You obviously don't care so I want you to get the fuck out. Get the fuck out of my head and my heart and never come back. Fuck I hate this. Why can't I say what I want. I realized I didn't need you around when I realized that everyone else was fighting to stay in my life. Everyone else would make plans with me and never blow me off. Everyone else tried. So I'm surrounding myself with those people. Not you, I want you to leave. Get out please, just get the fuck out. It doesn't even matter what you say because I know it's not true and you don't want me around either. You'd rather be around other people and that's fine, I'd rather be around people who love me anyway. Unlike you. I mean what the fuck was i to you? Someone you could waste time with, use for your own personal gain than leave? NO! FUCK THAT! And fuck you! Absolutely not. I am not someone's play toy to throw away in the following weeks, I have more god damn respect for myself than that. What bullshit is this situation? What a fucking shit show. Geez. Fuck! I feel like I need to say more but I don't know how, I hate when my brain gets like this. Fuck me sideways.

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Just getting some feelings out