Stuck In The Pages

Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

         Everyone has an opinion. Some opinions are worth listening to and others can cause us to lose brain cells, or so we think. At this age, we're impressionable and even the smallest negative comment that is pointed towards us can affect the way we see ourselves. It's incredible how someone can compliment you on something, and you'll feel higher than the moon afterwards. It's also incredible how that same person can say something that hits you so hard you begin to question yourself. It's crazy to think that the opinions of others can really affect how we think. It's funny how much we rely on someone else's thoughts of us more than we rely on our own.

         It all started when I walked through those big, maroon, double doors of West Hill High School my freshman year. Disney, Nickelodeon, and movies all hype high school up to make it look like it's going to be the greatest four years of your life. They make it seem as though when you walk through those doors for the very first time, you become part of a world where everyone likes each other and there are no worries at all, but that's just not true. I had a rude awakening my freshman year, and that's what turned me into the heartless bitch everyone sees.

         That's not me though. I'm not heartless and if I wasn't thought of as a bitch, I probably wouldn't be acting like one. However, it's just how the last four years of my life has played out.

         I didn't ask to become popular or to befriend some of the hottest people in the school; it just happened. I was an impressionable freshman and when the hottest boy I've ever seen took me under his wing, who was I to say no? He was a year older than me so he knew his way around the school. He had introduced me to the cheerleaders and the football players. He took me to parties and taught me how to handle my liquor. He was my best friend, who I also happened to fall in love with. Although that's a story for a different day. However, four years and probably five thousand negative opinions later, I'm one of the queen bees of the school, and I'm not proud of it.

         Walking through the halls of West Hill High School it was like I was carrying around the plague. People would part ways, allowing me to walk down the middle of the hallway, while they fiddled with their fingers and avoided eye contact. I'd try to smile at anyone who would make eye contact with me, but before I could quirk up the corners of my mouth they'd break the eye contact and carry on having a different conversation.

         "Good morning Cassie," my best friend Missy greets.

         "Morning, Missy. What's the latest and greatest?" I ask, plastering a fake smile on my face while putting in my locker combination.

         This is the same routine I do every day. I walk down the hall, being shunned like I'm a leper, I have a meaningless conversation with my best friend about what happened over the weekend, and then I walk to class acting like I'm not bothered by any of the negative comments that I know are being said about me behind my back.

         "Well, Shane dumped Brooke on Saturday night because he said that she was too shallow. However, he's the one who far too into himself to ever treat anyone decently, so who's really the shallow one?" She says but we both know it's a rhetorical question. Shane is the most shallow, self absorbed person you will ever meet. I nod my head, and close my locker.

         "Brooke was the best thing to happen to Shane. No one else is willing to put up with his antics." I reply before turning to walk in the direction of my class. Missy walks beside me.

         "You're not wrong. I just think that maybe this is the rude awakening he needs to see that not just anyone will put up with his selfishness."