Have I Told You (PUBLISHED)

Chapter Thirty Eight

 Chapter Thirty Eight

Eisley

I really thought I was going to die that day. When I woke up and realized I was still alive, I could only think of Tyrese and our child. I don't want to waste my time. I wanted to go home with my family.

No, I didn't see God. I didn't even get to hear His voice. There were only pain and darkness. I prayed, though. I also heard Tyrese's prayers. Maybe, He heard Tyrese. He knows how kind she is. I've never been a good Christian and I hated my father, so I understand if He doesn't listen to me.

Tyrese's doing everything so I can live longer. It's just that I did things more than what my body could handle, but I don't regret it. At least, Tyrese won't be as sad when I'm gone. I hope the fatigue and pain are worth it.

Now I understand my mom. I get now where she was coming from. In order to protect me, she chose to sacrifice herself.

Now that I really don't have much time left and I'm done with my plans, all my time now goes to my family, and my family alone. I need to spend more time with them. If I live longer, then lucky me. If I die sooner, it's not like I can do anything about it. I will die. Period.

With everything that I've been through, it's ironic that this is my happiest stage. I'm at my peak. It seems like I have almost everything I want. Almost. My mom's not here, I haven't seen my child, and I'm dying. I'm complete except for these parts.

Tyrese is really amazing. She's so brave and she can handle me really well. She has seen me at my best and most of the time, at my worst. And what's weird is, she doesn't complain. She just smiles and tells me she loves me. Because from the start, Tyrese has loved me for who I am and what I have and don't have.

She's the best wife. She'll also be the best mother. Just like what I said before, when I'm with her, nothing restricts me from being myself. I bet, she and my child are going to be best friends.

I hope I can witness that. Maybe, I can. I hope I can see them from above or below. Whether God decides to send me up or down there, I'd do anything to protect my family. I'd give Tyrese a husband who would love her more than I do now if it's even possible and my child a father who'd be nothing like mine.

I'm not praying for an extension anymore. 

Now, I only wish for my wife and child's safety and happiness. 

Tyrese

"Let's do this!" I excitingly draw the last piece of paper from our bucket jar.

Nang makalabas siya sa hospital, wala kaming sinayang na oras. We went on a date with my family and tita Berna, we attended mass together, he read me a book until I fell asleep, wrote me a poem, sang me and our baby Oh My Darling Clementine, which is also my song every time I would break down, we bought a magic sing, called our friends, and sang our hearts out, walked around the park, rode a yacht and watched the sunset, went to a beach, and took a lot of pictures together.

Araw-araw, sinasabi ko sa kanya lahat ng mga gusto kong sabihin. Sa gabi nga, binabasa ko sa kanya yung mga sinulat ko sa journal #9 ko. Favorite niya 'yun dahil nalalaman niya kung anong mga nasa isip ko. It's not fair, though. I don't know what's going through his mind.

"Open it." I pass him the paper. "Read it loudly."

He takes it, smile flashes across his face. "Grow old together." His expression softens, then confusion hits him. "But how?"

"Easy." Kumuha ako ng powder at make-up. I pull my hair into a bun and put the powder on my hair. I also put some on his. I search a make-up tutorial on youtube then we pretend we're old.