Sober.

6 // Spaces

"This ship is going down, I wished I didn't think of jumping over board till now." 

- This Ship (Written by Shea Avery June 19, 2016)

"Shea, will you please tell me what is bugging you?" James asks from the couch across from me in my small office. Monday mornings were always terrible, worse when you're still fighting with your boyfriend and haven't heard from Clem in three days.

"Um, no." I shake my long blonde hair, keeping my eyes on my writing. 

"Let's see then." Instantly, my journal is removed from my lap. I sigh and look up at James, who is scanning the words I had attempted to put down on the sheet of paper.

"Remember when it was good being Lonely, now it's a different kind of lonely.

I was used to sleeping in an empty bed, but not on your floor as you slept soundly."

"Shea?" He looks up and hands me back my journal.

"Yes?" I ask closing it as if I could harm the inanimate object.

"It sounds like it is a failing ship." 

"I think it is, but I also think it is too late for me to jump over board."

"Do what you must, but I don't see it getting much better." Again I do not believe in fate, I never have, but just as James finishes his words there is a light knock on the door followed by Tina popping her head in the small crack she created by opening the dark brown door.

"Lucas." She whispers softly trying not to interrupt our writing session.

"Send him in." I wave to her, she smiles while exiting the room.

"I have to keep fighting, he is safe. I haven't had many safe things in my life." I end the conversation topic as Lucas walking in with a bag from the bagel place around the corner. It was very small and family run, one of my favorite stops in the morning before work.

" I thought you guys might like some brain food." He smiles weakly, the awkwardness in the room is evident as he sets the bag down on the small table next to my large comfy chair. I take a quick glance in the bag to see a few bagels and a tub of cream cheese. I look up at Lucas who is scratching the back of his head, waiting for me to start to conversation. For being a lawyer, he was never the best at communication.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" I ask, looking to see he was not in his work suit, but instead a pair of athletic shorts and a t-shirt. He never missed work, it was his life.

"I have the day off." His voice is more cold and worried, worried that I might might out the real reason.

"Okay." I nod not wanting to start an argument with James in the room. I knew he was lying, I can't even base an argument off of it because... I was lying too.

"So yeah." He shrugs and starts to exit the room.

"Thank you." I smile weakly and wave him a good bye. Once the door shuts with a click I quickly stand up to grab my guitar. 

"I have part of this song, I want you to help me." He completely changes the subject away to what I was going to say. I nod and start to tune the guitar.

"Go ahead." I smile which lightly strumming.

"I've been looking all night watching them empty hours. Invisible to these crowds, always double vision" He sings slowly and I perk my head up.