Make You Believe [Jerrie]

Chapter 13

This has been in production so long, I just realised how horribly dated the whole thing looks. The band's image has changed quite a bit since I started this. Ah well, whatever. Story still stands.

Jade squeezes her eyes shut and forces her breathing, in and out, in and out, like Perrie would coach if she were here. But she's not here. So Jade just listens through the phone as her dad waits her out in silence.

"It's very rude to call someone and then clam up." Her father scolds, and Jade feels the guilt hit just like it used to.

"Sorry." She manages to say, more like a plea than anything.

"Ah, there you are. Your voice has changed so much, it's strange." He comments casually, as if he didn't rape Jade, as if he didn't ruin her innocence, as if he didn't screw her up entirely.

Jade doesn't answer. Her voice is caught in her throat, along with a lump of terror.

"Now, I'm glad you called, Jade, I've missed you very much." He goes on, and Jade wishes she were brave and coherent enough to bite out no, you miss fucking me, but she isn't, so she doesn't. Perrie would have been. But that's why Perrie's disappointed in her. Jade let her down.

"Mhm." She sounds instead, sniffling pathetically.

Her father clearly hears, asking "Are you crying? What have you done this time?"

And fuck, she wants to hate him for it, wants to tell him that not everything is her fault, but this is, most things are, and so she slumps against the cupboards, shaking as more tears brim over.

"I fucked up." She whimpers, mind showing her pictures of her father pushing her down onto the bed. It's like just hearing his voice is enough to make it all real and scary and worse than it's ever been. Jade just wants Perrie. But she doesn't have her, and it's because she fucked up.

"Of course you did, you're rather good at that, aren't you?" Her father asks sarcastically, superiority laced in his already menacing tone.

Jade subconsciously curls in on herself further, so that she's a little ball, breathing raggedly into her knees, tear splattered hair sticking to her head. "Yeah." She whispers.

"Alright, so tell me what you did, then." Her father instructs, and it's far too easy for Jade to fall back into her old ways, answering immediately.

"I, I lied to someone, and, and, um, she's really upset, and, I just, I can't l-lose her, I need h-her." Jade struggles to explain, chest hitching repeatedly.

"Mm." Her father hums. "Is this one of your girls, then? Perrie, maybe?"

Jade clenches her eyes shut again and times her next breath, choking on it slightly. All she can do is whine out an "Uhuh."

"I always did have a feeling." Her dad chuckles. It's a dark sound. "Your mother told me about you two, you know. Girlfriends, huh? Always knew you were a dyke."

Jade's heart jumps and she shakes her head, forgetting that no one can see. The word hurts, not even because it's a slur, but because of the person it's coming from. He knows.

"Don't-" Jade tries to fight, but cuts herself off. She's not strong enough. She knows that.

"Did I spoil you too much, Jade? You liked it, didn't you? You knew nobody could match that." Her father pushes, pushes, pushes.

"No." Jade sobs. "I didn't, I didn't, I didn't."

"I think you did." Her dad smirks. She doesn't have to see him to know. She remembers that expression all too well.