Undercover: A Romance

Chapter Nineteen

Ariabella's P.O.V

Saturday morning I woke up feeling like I had for the past month. Like hell. The night before I had a little bit to drink. Not a lot. But enough for me to be able to go to sleep quickly instead of staying up and thinking about how miserable I am.

I hadn't been called for another mission in the past month so I figured Dan had let it slip that I wasn't at all on my A game. I wouldn't put it past him. He's been over here at least three times a week. He calls me every day to check up on me. It's sweet. He always finds a way to make me laugh.

I sighed and got up out of the bed to go take a shower. For an hour I sat under the water just staring at the wall. I wasn't thinking about anything in particular. For once my mind was blank. It just felt like a big empty abyss. I welcomed the emptiness in my head. It hurt to think about Blake Matthews.

Once I was done in the shower I slipped into some shorts and an off the shoulder black shirt and went into the kitchen to get something to eat. I wasn't exactly hungry but Dan had told me I had to eat something even if it was a little Debbie cake. So I grabbed a fudge round and ate it. I poured me some orange juice in a glass and went and sat on the couch.

I set the glass on the table and sat back on the couch, laying my head back against it and closing my eyes. I was still very tired and for once I was relaxed. It didn't last long because the doorbell rang. I sighed and got up. It wasn't Dan because he usually knocked before barging in. I wasn't particularly caring if it was a mass murderer trying to kill me so I got up without my gun.

When I opened the door I froze. Blake Matthews was standing in front of me in low rise jeans and a white Hollister shirt. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't speak. For the past month I had been crying over this man. I didn't know why he was here either. I had hoped that maybe he had come to forgive me, but my pessimistic side was telling me he had come to tell me to leave town and never cross his life again.

I stood there, staring at him in shock. He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. "May I come in?" He asked. I nodded and stepped back to let him in, not trusting my voice enough to speak. I wanted to cry again. The numb feeling I had felt earlier disappeared the minute I saw him.

I sighed and walked over to the couch and sat down throwing my head back against it. I felt the couch give as he sat down facing me. I didn't feel like being polite and offering him food or something to drink. I still didn't trust my voice enough to talk to him. I looked at him questioningly.

"I wanted to give you a chance to explain yourself. I realize it wasn't fair of me to not give you a chance and I want to now." He stated. He said it so formally. Tears welled up in my eyes and spilled down my cheeks. He hasn't talked to me in that manner since the second week of school. He's always been so laid back with me and now all of that is gone.

I put my head in my hands and cried even harder than I had in the past month. I heard him sigh and then felt his arms wrap around me. I was shocked that he would try to comfort me but I welcomed his touch. I clung to his chest crying into his shirt. I held onto him tightly afraid that he might let me go.

"It's okay Aria. It's okay. I'm not mad. Please stop crying." He whispered in my ear trying to sooth me. I looked up at him shocked.

"How could you not be mad right now? I sobbed. He chuckled slightly.

"Because I've had time to think about this. You promised me that day in my classroom that when the time was right you'd tell me the things that you couldn't at the time. I told you I would keep an open mind and I didn't. So, instead you should be the one mad at me." He replied simply.

I shook my head and pulled back wiping the tears from my face. "No. I couldn't really expect you to keep an open mind. I knew that. I can't be mad at you because it's my fault for getting so close to you. I knew the consequences of my actions and yet I still foolishly fell in love with you knowing the risks." I paused searching his face. "I work for the CIA, Blake. That's what I couldn't tell you. I was investigating at the school."