Losing Life's Grip

Chapter 1

     There are some people that believe after you die you are reincarnated as a new person. Like how butterflies become even more beautiful after they sort of die then come back with wings. While these theories seem a little far fetched, I'm holding on to a small piece of hope that they are true.
     This is because my current life sucks. I'm not trying to complain, I know there is worse things in the world. But I feel like I've held in enough of my emotions and I deserve some venting time. Let's start from the part my life truly began to suck.
     Well I have a best friend named Lilly. We have done everything together since we were five and still do ten years later. We are closer than sisters and I love her to death. The thing about Lilly is that she is just about the most perfect human being on this planet. I mean that literally.
     She is talented in every area you could think of. Lilly is a straight A student in advance classes. She is a flute prodigy. She has the voice of an angel. Lilly is even incredibly athletic. She's been asked to travel all over the world for soccer and swimming.
     Now you probably are thinking that with all these things going for her, that has to be the end of my list. Oh my friend, you couldn't have been more wrong. To add to all these spectacular qualities, Lilly is absolutely gorgeous. I mean model status goddess like beauty. Her wavy blonde hair never has a strand out of place and her perfect olive skin is always blemish free.
      Needless to say, the boys go crazy for her. Lilly has had the same almost equally perfect boyfriend since we were thirteen. I however am forever alone. I'm purely average at everything, constantly trying to catch up with my best friend.
     I've gotten used to being the sidekick. I actually like it. Not having to speak much helps with my super cool crippling anxiety. Now one Friday in August me and Lilly had planned on hanging out that night. It wasn't anything special, but I was still looking forward to it. Lilly ended up calling and saying she was too sick to hang out. I didn't think much of it.
      That was until she was sick the rest of the week throwing up constantly and always feeling terrible. That's when I got concerned. Lilly would never miss practice or school unless it was serious. Her mom finally took Lil to the doctor and he said he was worried that this was going to be much worse than expected.
      She was then sent to the hospital to be thoroughly examined. I happened to be with Lilly and her mom when we went to the hospital to see her rest results after school. I didn't really know what I was expecting going in that day. I do know I wasn't expecting the news I received.
      The doctor didn't look to excited to come in and talk to us in that cold, white, boring room. He pulled out a big chart and started saying all kinds of medical stuff I didn't understand. When he finally got to the point he said the word cancer. I just stared at the small man standing in front of me trying to evaluate what I had heard.
     The doctor said cancer. As in Lilly my best friend in the entire world had the terrible disease cancer I have heard so much about. As in the terrible disease that I had been told stories about that always seemed to end in someone dying. That cancer.
    I turned to Lilly and saw the most terrified, broken-hearted expression that had ever been on her perfect face. When the doctor continued, this situation got even worse. He then said the word terminal. As in the word that means no chance of survival. The closest person to me on the face of the earth was going to die.