Losing Life's Grip

Chapter 3

     After Lilly was gone , I had to begin the hardest part of the journey. When she died, I completely fell apart. Now I had to pull myself back together. It was was like doing a puzzle. First you have to do the edge pieces. The part that holds it together. For me, that was Evan.
     Evan kept me going. He was still sick, but not enough to stop him from hanging out with me. As soon as Lilly died, I realized that I needed to get it over with. I immediately told Evan how I felt. We are officially dating now and we do everything together. 
     The problem is Evan doesn't go to my school. I don't know if you guys have realized but highschool is kind of the worst. At least before I had Lilly to follow around. When she passed, I had no one. I spent the school days by myself. I didn't have anyone to push me to try. No one to make me do my homework. My grades started slipping but that wasn't even the worst part.
     I have never had social skills and I have always had severe anxiety issues. This makes it really hard to talk to new people. I couldn't hide behind Lilly anymore and no one was approaching me. It sucked. I literally had no friends for the 35 hours a week I was in that prison.
     At least I had Evan when I got home. I was used to going to all of Lilly's appointments, so I started going to all of Evan's. One week the doctors gave us some really exciting news.
"Evan I need to tell you something important."
We were kind of scared. "Oh my god what's wrong with Evan?" I freaked out immediately.
"Don't worry, miss. Its a good thing"
"Well what is it doctor?"
"As you know Evan is in line for a kidney transplant. We have recently been delivered some new information. Evan is next up for a kidney. If we get another donation soon, he won't be as sick anymore."
     We were all stunned. The doctor had told us before that Evan would have quite a while before he got the transplant. Now it would be so soon. I didn't want to think about what had to happen to people to move him up. Whatever, we were happy. 
     After the appointment Evan and I decided to celebrate. I decided on pizza (its my favorite). We split our pizza the same way as always. Half veggie for me and half meat lovers for Evan. It was our classic date and it was perfect. The time I spent with Evan always was.
     Now I know this sounds nerdy, but Evan was my first boyfriend and my first date. He was special to me. I hadn't told Evan yet, but I felt like I loved him. I know, I know. We were so young. It was too soon. Bla, bla, bla.
     I didn't care about any of that though. I knew how I felt. This seemed like a good night to finally tell him. Evan and I were sitting at a table outside and it was getting dark. The stars were shining and it was beautiful.
     We were almost done with the food. Evan was holding my hand. I looked into his eyes and my heart melted. He really was perfect.
"Evan I have something to tell you"
"What is it? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, I'm fine. I just, I just wanted to tell you how I fell"
Her immediately changed his expression. I could tell he was assuming the worst.
"Evan, I-I love you"
He looked down quickly and didn't respond. He hated me. I had made a mistake. Why did I ruin everything?
"I'm sorry. I don't even know why I said that"
"Evan! Please say something. Your silence is killing me!"
He looked back up at me and smiled.
"I'm sorry, Alyssa. I was just told the girl of my dreams feels the same way I do. It took me a second to make sure it was real."
     Yes! I loved Evan and Evan loved me. I was the happiest girl in the world. Evan completed me. We were like puzzle pieces. We fit perfectly. Without him I wasn't whole.
      He was more than just the edges of my puzzle that held me together. Evan was everything in between, too. He gave my life color and beauty just like the middle pieces. I needed Evan like a puzzle needed all its pieces. Evan was my everything.