Bad Boy with a Secret

Two

Two

Chaz

My eyes slowly crease open as I meet a small room with four white walls. This room is so familiar it hurts. I know exactly why I'm in here. I can just feel the anger boiling inside of me, but I grip the head of the bed, my veins popping out through my fists, to release my anger.

I look again, this time to see my mother sitting in that same worn out blue chair. The one with the scratches and tears. Her face is buried in her hands.

It really kills me seeing her like this. I'm the one who is causing this pain for her and I hate that. She doesn't deserve to be unhappy, it should be me.

I can already feel my eyes starting to water as my lips tremble.

"Mom," I cry out.

She doesn't answer me, her head still hung low. She doesn't even flinch. She just continues to sob.

"Mom, please, look at me." I beg her. "What did I do now?"

Her sobs grow louder. Before I can ask again, I hear an annoying beeping noise. What the hell?

I wake up and immediately sit up in my thin blue air mattress that was placed on the floor. It actually came with the apartment. Still furious with the dream I just had, I get up and punch the wall without thinking.

"Chaz!" My mother runs into my room. "Chaz, honey, what's wrong? Did you take your pills?"

I stare at the wall and notice my punch wasn't hard enough to even make a dent. Yet there's so many other marks and dents on the wall from before. I rub my forehead with the back of my hand, my eyes still on the wall.

"No, mom, I just woke up. I just..had a dream."

She quickly makes her way over to me and rubs my back soothingly. She knows what I'm talking about. I don't even need to explain it to her.

"It's okay, Chaz. It wasn't real, okay? You're fine."

I loved my mom. I was glad that she was always there for me. But I knew that it wasn't fine and that it probably never would be fine.

"It's not fair, Mom." I sob onto her shoulder.

"I know, honey. Life's not fair."

I knew that life wasn't fair, and by her saying that it didn't make things any better. But I didn't say anything because I knew she was stressed already. I didn't want to make her any more stressed, because she was doing all she could.

She rubs my back some more. "I made you some pancakes so you better go eat up and get ready or you're going to be late. Remember your pills!"

I tried to hold back my groan. Why couldn't I just be normal? Why did I have to take pills? Why did it have to be such a normal thing for her to remind me to take my pills? It just wasn't fair. I never asked for this. I just want to be able to wake up in the morning and go to school without worrying about any stupid pills.

I look at the time to see that it's 7:00. Damn, my alarm must have been going off for a long time.

I quickly pull on a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. I spritz on some cologne and grab a few pancakes in my hand before heading out the door.