Hold me? (A Lydia Martin x Dean Winchester fanfic)

(Chapter 2) Stressed out

Lydia's POV

I return to the bunker after my long car ride. At the long table where Dean used to sit, sat Sam still. I wonder if he even moved. Sam's shoulders slumped, his hair covering his face as he looked down, his body having an aura of guilt, sadness, and emotionally distraught. Like me.

I sigh sadly and walk toward him, the sound of my footsteps having him look up at me. His eyes were all red and puffy from crying so much and fresh tears already arriving. As soon as he saw me he stood up wiping his eyes, and I only made six steps to reach him, quickly, before I wrapped my arms around his waist and he wrapped his arms around my head and cradled me. We didn't let go.

"He's gone." His voice cracked. I didn't know what to say, my words caught in my throat. But it was true. My fiance, his big brother. And of course, there's a difference with time. Out of every adventure or suffering we've crawled through, big or small, we would always find a way. Either it would take a long time or a day or just pop out of the ordinary, clueless even. The main point. We would always find a way. But maybe not this time. This time it could be different.

But I had hope. I always did.

"Listen Sam." I pulled away enough to see his face, my arms coming to rest on his chest. "You're the one who always figures it out." I half-smiled, "So you can do it." I almost whispered the words. Maybe because I wasn't sure, even of myself.

He nodded and embraced me again.

We both stood there in each other's arms as we mourned about Dean, as my thoughts kept spinning to him. I remember the first time we met, I remember even the smallest memories now. But now it hurt. I wanted to kill Metatron. After what he did, I wanted to make sure he paid for it. As I stood in Sam's arm I cherished it. He's the closest person I have now who shares my grief. So I swallowed my hatred for that man and breathed.

We stood there until I sunk to the floor, Sam following. Sam held my head as I shoved myself into him and stayed there, gripping his shirt, breathing in his scent. It made me smile. Just a little.

I drifted off.

Sam's POV

I held her close as we sunk to the floor, using my left hand to hold her head, her sobbing became stronger, and she started gripping my shirt desperately as I released a hard shaky sob.

Hours passed before I noticed her slumping, her breathing becoming normal, her grip decreasing, and her sobbing stopping. "Lydia?" I whispered getting no answer or sound. I smiled warmly, knowing she was asleep. I tucked my arm under her legs, using my other arm to put around her shoulder before hoisting her up, her head falling on my chest. I turned around and walked into the hallways.

I took a left, a right, and a couple more turns, before getting to her room. I pushed the cracked door open, gently laying her on the bed and covering her with my blankets, her head sinking into the pillow. "See you in the morning," I whispered with a fond smile. She moved, snuggling more into a ball with a small noise of comfort. She reminded me of a child when she did that.

Flicking off the light I closed the door, letting it be cracked again. I didn't want to frighten her if she woke up.

I looked around. Dean's room was down the hall. My chest stung, my eyes and body needed sleep, and my brain was buzzing. I sighed sadly, deciding if I should even go and see him. I made my decision and went, my feet feeling heavy. I made it to his room and took a deep long breath.

I entered the room.

My eyes widened.

"LYDIA!"

He was gone.