I take a shuddery breath to try and calm myself down. Thankfully, it works.
“What exactly did I do yesterday?” Eric closed his eyes and inhaled deeply through his nose, then exhaled through his mouth, blowing his sweet breath across my face.
He opened his eyes and stared into mine. “Are you sure you want to know?”
“Yes. I remember some bits and pieces but, it’s fuzzy. I want to know what happened.”
“Well let’s start with what you remember. What do you remember?”
I closed my eyes and let the images wash over me. The silver blade of a razor, cool to the touch, on my left wrist. The locked door, protecting me from all the evils of the world, except myself. The mirror, reflecting the face of a scared girl, no, I’m an adult now. Reflecting the face of a terrified young adult, scared to live, scared to die. Torn. Broken. Me.
“I remember holding a razor to my left wrist, and the door being locked. But, then I remember you there, and blood. Lots of blood. But how did you get into the bathroom? It was locked, I know it was because I clearly remember locking it.” He picks me up off of the bed, bridal style, and carries me out of our room and into the hallway. That’s when I see the splintered door and blood-stained carpet.
“You…. You broke down the door? Eric… how…”
“You locked the door, Alaska, and I had to get to you. It’s as simple as that.”
“But… but… that’s not… I mean, we don’t own this place, we just live here. How are we going to pay-“ I was cut off by Eric’s bitter laugh.
“You almost died, about 24 hours ago, and you’re talking about how we’re going to pay for a stinkin’ door? Wait, I didn’t phrase that right, you almost killed yourself about 24 hours ago. Sorry for the confusion."
Tears began to form in my eyes. “Eric, I-“
“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just scared to death of losing you.” He looked down at me, with his beautiful brown eyes that could easily make any girl fall for him, and told me he loved me. Me. The broken, lonely, sad excuse of a girl, also called Alaska, was loved. And not just by anyone, but by an amazing, caring, loving, sweet, funny, adorable, attractive guy that would do anything, even break down a door for me.
“How could I forget?” I whispered, more to myself then to him. How could I forget that there’s always going to be one person that loves me? How could I forget that even when no one else will look at me, talk to me, or even acknowledge me, he will always be there? How could I forget that if I died, oh excuse me, killed myself, it would end up killing him? Who forgets a thing like that? Who forgets the love of their life? Only someone as stupid and self-centered as me.
“You ok baby? I know, it’s a lot to take in.”
“I need to go in.”
“What? I don’t think that’s such a good-“
“No, I need to. I need to see how far I went. How stupid I was.”
He sighed, and didn’t say anything for a while, but soon I felt him move forward. Very skillfully, he maneuvered over the broken door and into the bathroom while still holding me. The second my eyes saw the damage I’d caused, I gasped. Then a choking sensation came over me as I realized just how close I must have been to death. Surely no one can lose that much blood and live.
I scan the room, looking from the shower curtain, to the floor, to the sink, to the mirror. When I see myself reflected in the mirror, through the dried blood covering most of it, I gasp again. My left wrist is bandaged in white gauze (Eric must’ve done that I think to myself), but I can see red seeping through on the inside. My face is pale, making me look almost like a ghost. A ghost that’s tied to life only by a thread, and that thread is holding me right now.
I let my gaze drift down to the sink, which literally had pools of blood in the bottom of it, and felt my stomach turn queasy. I don’t do blood. Eric doesn’t either, and I was curious as to how he was still holding me up. Tilting my head up towards his, I saw why. This whole time he’d never taken his eyes off of me, making sure I was ok and wasn’t going to pass out or anything at the sight of my own blood. Then it finally dawned on me.
“You saved my life.”
Without breaking our gaze, he responded. “I would do anything for you.”
I lowered my head to his chest, feeling more terrible than words can describe about what I’d done. How could I forget…
YOU ARE READING
Alaska's Fight
Teen FictionI hold it, shaking, ready to die, when he barges in through the door. Literally through it. The lock snaps in half as he tears his way into the bathroom and toward me. "Don't do it!" he screams, over and over again. It's hurting my ears, forcing...
