Tell

Chapter 4- Confusion

*5 years ago*-2010

  "Alright class, if you could please take out your math books and turn to page 169. On this page we are going to learn how to divide, add, and subtract complex fractions. The homework you all did last night will be returned to you. You can use the homework as a reference. This is an individual assignment, so no talking." Says my math teacher Mrs.Barry. I sometimes really hate math although I'm quite good at it. All the formulas are just too much to remember. I could be retaining more useful information, instead I'm forced to remember the quadratic formula.

"Pst..Pst...Ayanna." Whispers someone from behind me. "Yes?" I say as I turn around. Who even is she? "Can you help me with number 8. You're good at math. This doesn't make any sense to me." Says Wynter. Why is her name Wynter? Three people in this class have a name relating to a season. There's Wynter, Autumn, and Summer. Where's spring?

"I can't help you. Mrs.Barry said no taking." I whisper. "Who is that back there talking?" Says Mrs.Barry as she looks up from her math book that includes all the answers to the current work assignment. "Sorry Mrs.Barry. I was asking Ayanna for help on number 8." Says Wynter.

"Ayanna just help me." Says Wynter. "Mrs.Barry? Wynter needs help with number 8." I say as I raise my hand. "All you have to do is ask the teacher. I don't understand it either. Mrs. Barry will show us." I say as I turn back around in my seat.

I actually knew how to do all of these. I hate when people ask me for help. It was nice and fun in the beginning. It felt like people actually needed me for once. I felt needed. People used to make fun of me for understanding every subject. They called me a nerd. They called me a teachers pet. My mother would tell me that she was proud of me for being intelligent. She said later on in life, people are going to wish they were me. Everyone nowadays just want to date a boy or girl and talk back to the teacher. They want to have so many friends, even ones that don't like them. That's so stupid. Then again, I'm so shy. I couldn't ever do any of those. Sometimes I wish I could, but my mother is strict so I couldn't anyway.

But anyways, Tyler and I haven't talked since the beginning of 8th grade. It's the second semester/quarter of the year. We both still take band, so I still see him often but we sit on opposite sides of the class room. Tyler acts like he doesn't even notice me and I find that very weird. It kinda hurts that he does that to me. And also that he has stopped talking to me. He was my first friend I met when I transferred to this school. I slowly learn how to build a wall around my heart. Letting no one in. This habit progresses more and more later on.

One day, I walk past Tyler during band class when I try to go to my teacher's office to ask him a question and he grabs my wrist before I enter.I stare at him and he smiles. He asks me for help with his sheet music. He still plays the  clarinet. Meghan, me and Tyler all sit in a circle. Feels just like old times. I make sure that it's cool to talk to Tyler since Meghan still had a crush on him, but to my surprise, Meghan actually stopped liking him. She never told me why though. I don't play an instrument in the group as I try to help Tyler but Meghan and Tyler both play their clarinets. Tyler says "ugh I can't get it. I give up. I'm going to go to sleep." Tyler rests his head on my lap. He asks me to play with his hair but I don't. I just stare into his eyes. He didn't talk to me for almost a whole semester and he does this? I should just push him off my lap.

He notices me not touching his hair so Meghan plays with it instead and he sits up. "Your hair is so nice. You always let me play with it." Says Meghan.  He says "Yea. Whatever, I'm going to the bathroom."

"Hey Ayanna, I'm going to hang out with Alexis. Have fun in this lame circle." She says as she gets up. Somehow I get this feeling of jealousy.

I pull out my phone and watch videos of people playing the drums. I wish I could play the drums like that. My teacher isn't really helping me out either.

I sit my phone on the stand so that the teacher won't see it, but instead think that I'm focusing on the sheet music in front of me.

Tyler comes back and sees me sitting by myself in the group. I stare hard at the "sheet music" and tilt my head. I notice Tyler coming towards me and i quickly put my phone back into my pocket. He lays his head back down again on my lap and asks me how I like living here now. We make conversation but Tyler's girlfriend, Alexis, doesn't like the situation happening between Tyler and I. I'm not sure if i like it either but I do miss talking to him. In fact, I really miss him. So this situation that's happening now is sending me over the moon.

Tyler and Alexis have been dating for a year. I notice Alexis' glare. It's making me feel uncomfortable so I tell Tyler to sit up. I get up and go to practice my instrument. "Why is my heart racing over something like that?" I ask myself. "Was I scared of Alexis or the fact that Tyler was lying all over me and wanted me to rub his hair and not Meghan?" I put down my instrument as I'm unable to focus on playing it. I ask the teacher to go in the hallway to the water fountain. I have to calm myself down. I drink some water and almost choke to death on it.

Tyler comes out into the hallway without asking the teacher. I look into the classroom to see if the teacher noticed. "You alright?" He asks me. "What?" I ask confused. "You look like you were choking." He points at the water on my shirt. "I''m fine. Thanks." I wipe the rest of the water from my mouth. That's embarrassing.

In the corner of my eye, I notice Alexis looking out the door along with Meghan. "There's your girlfriend. I'm going back into the classroom." I say.
"Don't. I see her over there. She's always watching me. It's nice to be around someone else for a change." He says as he brushes his hair back with his hands. "You don't like being with her?" I ask with curiosity. "I don't. I don't like her at all. She asked me out. I didn't ask her out." He says laughing. "What? You two are supposed to have the same feelings if you're going to be dating each other." I say. He laughs and looks down. "Oh. I didn't want to say no. She confessed that she has liked me for a long time, so I'm just going to let her date me. I don't like her." He says. "You should tell her you don't like her Tyler. You don't just date anyone and everyone that asks you out. "Well why not? If I ask you out, will you date me?" He pinches my right cheek causing me to back away.

I laugh slightly and  he stands there with a blank look on his face. He just walks away. Back into the classroom he goes. He wraps his arm around Alexis. My heart sunk when I saw that. What was that though? Did he indirectly ask me out? He has a girlfriend though. But he doesn't like her? I'm so confused.

The bell rings, it's time to go home. I need to think about what just happened.

HOPE YOU ENJOYED ❤️