Dust in the Wind: The Undoing of Malachi King

Going Home

Going Home

So, here I am on the train home.... And yet I feel as if I'm not going home. Almost as if I don't have a home. I feel lost and cold... But why would I feel this way if I'm getting exactly what I want? I wanted to go home and I am...

Home seems like a relative term... I've always been told that home is where the heart is, home is where the love is. Yet, my heart is with my girlfriend but I'm not going home with her or to her. But I mean we love each other. Hell we hold each other's heart in our hands. So why in the hell did I leave and all the way to Seattle much less. I mean seriously what THE HELL WAS I THINKING?

Maybe everything would make sense if I start when everything started getting crazy....

13 Months Ago

"So Germayne and I found a spot in San Jose if you trynna move out..." Jackiie throws out while looking pointedly at my fiancée.

"How'd he help you find a place if he's not out for another 2 weeks?'' Devon playfully replies disregarding the insensitivity of his comment.

Rolling my eyes I respond, "Thanks but, since we're already living with his mom, when the lady moves out of the room she said we can have it. But our rent would be like $600." Pausing a moment I add, "Hey love... Why don't you go and get that joint I rolled? This blunt's almost out. It's sitting on the night stand."

As he scampers off like a puppy in search of a treat, I sigh relieved at the quick moments of peace I'd been given. After one drunken night, I found myself trapped in a relationship that was drowning me quietly. It wasn't 3 days before Devon had decided to consume all of my time with absolutely no regard for my personal space or opinions. It was two weeks before he pulled me into moving into his house and I mean from there all he wanted to do was take me out to a buffet almost every other night. And if we weren't at a buffet he spent the money on bullshit. God, all I wanted was a one night stand to blame on the alcohol. What I got was sucked into some ridiculous relationship. I was fuckin' bored, I just wanted to fuck, and it was a party for shit sake. I mean before he claimed me as his own I was already starting to get involved with a Marine guy who wanted nothing but to spoil and adore me and had the means to do so. I guess to sum it all up; Devon basically got addicted to the pussy and just wanted to wife me up before another nigga could get the chance...

"Dude... Malachi... MALACHI!" Jackiie breaks my dazed concentration.

"Huh? Oh sorry got stuck in my own thoughts."

"So, what's going on 'cuz I definitely watched you put the blunt in your ponytail before we left."

"Bro," I sighed "I don't even know where to start or how."

"Haha it's sounding like there's a little trouble in Paradise?"

"That's not even half of it," I scoffed, "after he told me to quit my barista job and find something closer to home, he barely lets me out of the house. I'm telling you all he wants is for me to sit here and wait for him to come home so I can wait on him hand and foot. I bought myself a skateboard and he won't even let me try to ride it. Ugh. I'm so sick of staring at the same four walls of this damn apartment all I do is clean and when I'm done cleaning I get on the PS3 until my fingers ache and my head is throbbing. OH! And don't even get me started on the sex-"

"Whoa! Whoa! Just hold on, let's slow down. I know I'm your mentor and all but I really don't want to hear about the things you do in bed."

"Aha! Pfft! That's the issue: NOTHING is going on in bed. Sex is way too classy of a word for what happens between us. To be completely honest with you, it's until he finds his pleasure and then he's off to dreamland while I'm stuck awake and left unsatisfied. And if that's not bad enough, I seriously think this nigga is trynna get me pregnant!"

Jackiie's eyes widen at the speculation, "What do you mean by that?"

As I go on to explain my suspicions, my mentor's eyes get wider and wider as her jaw drops lower and lower. The emotional backflow of words pour from me as if I was a busted faucet that just couldn't be turned off.

"I mean the same three condoms have been sitting on our nightstand for almost a month. Don't get me wrong he's a wonderful BOY but, if I'm going to have someone's child I'd at least like to make that decision. On top of that I'd like my child's father to be a MAN, not some MAN-CHILD."

And with that, my overgrown child of a self proclaimed fiancée comes scampering back like a puppy to his owner. Although, this was one puppy I did not want to own.

"Babe, I couldn't find it. So, I brought your mota and grinder so you can roll us a few more."

Thus momentarily ending our conversation and my peace..