Lost Without You (Gaster!Sans X Reader)

14

"No matter what Sans saw you as, no matter how much he despised you, you planned on making him see you as a friend."

Several back-breaking days had passed since your secret was spilled. Your new injuries were in no rush to heal and your older ones were still fighting to do the same.

Papyrus along side Grilby acted as your caretakers. They fed you meals, cleaned your wounds, and kept you company when it was called for. Papyrus was pleased with your decision to stay, even if it was just while you healed. 

While everything on the surface seemed to be going fine, you knew deep down reality was practically choking you to death. Your body would never be in the same condition again with as many hits as you had taken. In the past you had swindled and made bad deals with rotten people. And now Sans had every reason to kill you after you lied.

Sans had kept his distance from the house since then. Late in the night, you could hear him return and talk with Papyrus. Their conversations were short and he left immediately after they were finished talking. One night, you had even thought about going to confront Sans but you decided it wouldn't be the best idea in front of Papyrus.

In the end, when it comes to confronting Sans, you knew you'd either do it, or die trying. 

...

"Glitch! I have brought breakfast for you!"

You groggily sat up, ignoring the constant pain that reminded you of your fragility and weakness. Papyrus greeted you with the same careless and happy smile he always had while placing the plate in your lap. The gesture was sweet but the food was mediocre at best; after all, it was pretty hard to come by, sometimes you would rather not eat at all. 

"How are you feeling today?"

"Fine." 

The answer was short, but there were only so many ways you could've answered when it came to Papyrus. You hated seeing him worry. 

"Glad to hear it!"

From there, the conversation died. Papyrus sat quietly at your side while you finished the meal, then he tended to the multiple wounds scattered about your body while you just lied there. The treatments were painful, but you also kept that from his knowledge while he cared for you. Without pills or ointments, you absorbed the pain and bit your tongue while he worked on you.

"You're looking much better. However, I wish there was more I could do." 

You could tell from the drained look in his pupils that things weren't looking so good for your recovery. There was only so much your body could withstand after all, and you had taken quite the beating. 

"Don't worry Papyrus. I'll be fine. I think... I'm going to take a shower real quick."

...

The cold water brought layers of filth and dirt from your body. You were littered with new scars and bruises everywhere from head to toe. You were unaware of where most of them came from, and at this point you didn't care. Your scars might've told a story, they might've shown how much you managed to live through- but deep down, they were slowly tearing you apart.  

By turning a knob the water came to a stop. You stepped outside the shower and onto a mat to dry yourself off. After doing so, you looked for the wrap you used to bind your breast. However, you couldn't seem to find it. You looked again but with no luck. When you called for Papyrus or Grilby, no one answered. 

In the end, it came down to the lingerie you had left under the sink weeks ago. Lacy, black underwear and a matching bra. You would've never worn something so feminine, even back then. But your father... that was the only thing he'd buy you... after all... he...

You grimace at the memory and bite back the tears you can feel rushing in. Your father was a monster, at least Sans was actually fighting for something. Even if he had given up long ago. It had made you think maybe what you were fighting for, the spirit that had kept you moving, was maybe dying out. You needed a push to keep moving forward, and you knew it. You just didn't know what that was.

You finished changing, and without the wraps around your breasts, Sans's sweater felt tighter on you than usual. You walked in front of the mirror to observe the changes. As much as you hate to admit it, you weren't exactly flat chested. Your curves were extremely noticeable and somehow that made your face look more feminine as well. 

You dismissed the thoughts, hoping Papyrus and Grilby wouldn't freak out, you couldn't have been more wrong.