The Barista (BoyxBoy) // FTM // Completed

Chapter Eight: i care about who you are

"I will show you how normal you are." I went down to his hips and kissed around it.

"What? What are you doing?"

"Showing you that you're normal." I repeated, slipping my fingers under the hem of his boxers.

"N-no. I, no i don't like th-"

"Why don't you like that?" I started at him.

"Are you serious? I'm a man with a fucking vagina. It just, doesn't fit."

"Ok, i love you, but i want this confident, amazingly strong and beautiful man back. The man that saved me on that party, the one that kissed me in front of everyone. The one i fell in love with. And i know that that isn't you. You're not ashamed of yourself. I've never been confident but i think it's been rubbing off on me. Because I'm telling you now, that you're scared that I'll think you're weird. Or that I won't like you, just because i see your down parts." I kissed his boxers and slowly took them off.

He shrugged for a split second but i kissed his hip gentle again and he let me continue pulling down his boxers.

"But let me tell you, you're the most amazing human being i know and i will show you that you're...fuck normal, no one is normal. I will show you that you're...Jared. My boyfriend, who does what he wants whenever he wants. Who i love. So give me that confident boy back and let me show him how much i love him."

"So you don't love me when I'm not confident?" He cocked an eyebrow.

"No, no baby i love you in every way. You're super cute when you're insecure. But you shouldn't be insecure. You should be giving zero fucks about everything-"

"You say that so easily. I may seem confident, but I'm scared. So scared. Scared of the looks i might get, scared of rejection. Scared that you'll reject me. I'm so scared...because I'm different."

"Baby." I kissed my way back up to his cheek and laid my cheek on it and kissed his ear lightly. "Baby it doesn't matter if you're different. Everyone is different because if we were all the same, the world would be boring and suck. It doesn't effect the way i feel about you. It does not. I still get goosebumps every time you touch me, and i get nervous when I'm in front of your door, not knowing how to say hello because I'm scared I'll do something wrong or to embarrass myself. I don't care that you have a man vagina," he giggled. "I care about who you are, what you do, how you treat me, what you like. I care about, your hand shivering when you're concentrating on something. I care about how you twitch your left eye when you have to pee."

"What?" He gasped. "I don't do that."

"You do. And i think it's adorable. Look at me, look at your confidence made to my non existing confidence. I would've never talked to anyone that freeely and out of the heart. You make me do that. You bring out the good in me and i don't like seeing you upset. I really don't like that."

"I'm sorry. Sometimes i have these phases where i get really dep-"

"Me too. Me too baby. But we have each other now. I'm a loner, a nobody. And for some odd reason you say you love me. I still feel like I'm dreaming but...Jared i love you and i know it can be hard sometimes but you know that I'll be there." I kissed his neck. "I'll be there to tell you that youre beautiful. Everyday. I'll tell you that you'll kick ass today. That you look handsome as fuck in whatever you're wearing. Everyday. Because i love you. And you're not alone."

"What on earth made me deserve such an awesome human being like you are. I love you, Gabriel Mooner. I love you and with that cute and amazing speech, you made me feel better. Like really. You know, there are phases where I'm happy and i feel like nothing can stop me, but then again, there are phases where i just want to be alone. I want to be gone. I want to be normal. Where i ask myself...why did i end up in the wrong body? Or why did i not accept my body? Why me? Why do i have to be the trans freak? Why are my parents the one that don't accept lgbt people? Why mine, and not the fucking neighbours parents? No, the weird girl who kept on dressing like a boy had those parents who would burn all of my guy clothes and stuff me in dresses to get me out of that phase. But it wasn't a phase. And yeah, I'm happy that i am who i am now, with you by my side...but some things...still suck sometimes." I hugged him tighter, he did the same.

"I know." I kissed his temples. "Life's a bitch. You can't choose what body you get. So you might as well return the one you got." I entwined our fingers. "I love you."

"I love you too." Suddenly he laughed again. I missed that laugh, even though it was only gone for about 15 minutes. "I guess there goes another attempt of sleeping together because now I'm in cuddle mood." He kissed my collarbones amd snuggled himself into my body.

"Yuus, I'm more for cuddling right now too." I kissed his forhead and hugged him tight.

"I mean, sex is probably great, orgaseming is always great," he groaned. "But nope. I want to cuddle." He kissed my lips finally and let out cute giggles.

"Yeah." I laughed. "Different topic..." he looked up at me. "How would you feel sbout meeting my parents...?"

"I'd love that...not all parents can be bad right?"

"I actually think they'll be ok with me being with a guy. We all don't really talk much. Until now...until you, i was glued to my room so they don't know much about me, personal mife and stuff. Relationship stuff. But i bet they expected me to be gay. I mean, i didn't even think I'm gay because of the gay test i did but now that i think back on it...i don't know. Let's just pray."

"The what test?" He laughed.

I sighed and began telling him about the stupid test i did in 6th grade.

After another few hours of just talking and cuddling, we fell asleep in each others arms. I was terrified of my first night here...but ut was amazing. And when we do have sex, i won't be scared about that anymore either. Because he is awesome. We talked about everything.

My boyfriend is amzing.

"Love you." I mumbled against his head.