amusement park ♡ soonchan

3: nicotine

The sweet and sour taste of cold lemonade slid down my throat, my hand adjusting on the cold and wet plastic bottle. I sucked down more of the refreshing drink, taking in my surroundings. I was sat on a bench surrounded by five other boys, all laughing and chatting. Chan was sitting comfortably next to me, silently slurping down his drink as well.

The fresh memories of our lips touching was still spinning in my mind like a beautiful broken record. My heart lurched at every remembrance of feeling his lips on mine. Softer than silk, fragile as porcelain, addictive as nicotine. They left me more breathless than any rollercoaster I've been on today.

The next thing that we were off to do was shop. However, the glimmering silver necklaces and flashy t-shirts failed to grab my attention, and I ultimately decided to do my wallet a favor and not buy anything. Chan, on the other hand, had his interest peaked by a blue and brown wooden beaded bracelet.

"You should get one too...you know, like a memento," he suggested, handing me an identical one. He had me sold.

"It compliments your skin tone," Chan told me after we exited the shop and slipped the bracelets onto our wrists. Seeing our matching arms sent fluttering and fluttering butterflies into my veins.

We regrouped again and bonded over our animosity for the absurd prices of things in the gift shops, though it's ironic, because every one of us purchased something.

What happened next was simple, yet it was one of the highlights of today. All of us had to decide what to do next, all as one group. And I knew then, that a friendship had really started within all of us.

"I want to go to the zoo," Chan declared.

"No, I want to ride rides again before the park closes," said Seungcheol.

I was just waiting for Jeonghan to say Alright, we're going to take Chan to the zoo, it was nice meeting you guys, goodnight. But those words never came. And we stayed together.

The majority vote was to ride rides again, which was unfortunate to Chan, but fortunate for me, because I got more time with him. My selfishness in this situation even caught me off guard, but there wasn't much else I could do.

The next hour was rushing around the park and taking advantage of the shorter lines for rides and taking abundant amounts of photos, the ones I would cherish for a long time.

As the park's closing time approached, the last thing we were ready for was goodbye.

As we strolled along the twilight sidewalks, Jeonghan spoke up, "You know, there's a nice restaurant close by..." He giggled, half-joking, for the fear of being utterly rejected.

"I'd like that," said Seungcheol simply. My heart went warm, seeing him so happy.

We stayed in the park until the sun had gone, leaving us in the dark. And then we left to our cars, the destination set. The excitement and alertness left my body with Chan's departure, leaving me feeling drained and exhausted the moment I sat down in the car. Within the ten minutes it took to get there, I was nodding off. And like a battery, the sight of Chan brought me to. Sitting in Jeonghan's Honda, leaning his tired head against the window.

The air was warm. Pleasant against my skin, as the wind danced drowsily through the sky. I sauntered to the benches in front of the restaurant, the scent of palatable foods wafting through the doors. Seungkwan sat down next to me, rubbing his heavy eyes.

The six of us went in the cool building and got seated at a large round table. I can't speak for the rest of them, but I felt a sense of imposing dread at the thought of this being the end of our night. I took in every precious moment with care, afraid the second I let them go, I would be back at home, alone.

Chan shifted in his seat to glare at me, and the sight of him was unreal. There just couldn't ever be enough time to take in the sight of those two endless eyes of his. I could fall into them and never come back out. And with only an hour left to cherish them, I was defeated.

The only thing I could do was ask where they were from. They lived in a town thirty minutes away from my own. I didn't know how to process that information. This thirty-minute distance could either be taken as an acceptable one or one that's hopelessly too far away. I didn't want to get my hopes up.

This—all of this, with Chan, with today—is solely a fantasy. Not real. Why stay in touch? I know nothing about these people, only that they make cool temporary friends at an amusement park with hundreds of other people, hundreds of other scenarios that could have played out today instead of this one. It could have been so easy to never have met Chan; just a minute short of being on a completely different ride. To stay in touch would be to hold on to this perfect day, and not necessarily him, only the memory of the person he was at the amusement park.

Likewise, to pursue a friendship, a real one, would be to pursue this beautiful soul that I met today; to acknowledge the gloriousness that today was, and to look past that, to see Chan as more than the cute kid who wanted me to hold his hand and buy a matching bracelet.

I think too much.

When dinner was over, we all stood in the parking lot, not quite knowing what to say. Seungcheol avoided getting sentimental and just said goodbye. Seungkwan gave Hansol a big hug along with his ten digits. I gave Chan the pink teddy bear that I won, and while I hugged him, he slipped something into my pocket. When I reached for it, he stopped me, telling me to wait until I got home.

Our time was up. I climbed into Seungcheol's car, my eyes not leaving Chan until he was wholly out of sight. Then, like the flip of a switch, I was out. It wasn't until the next day when I woke up in bed that I remembered. I briskly stuffed my hands into my pockets and pulled out a soft napkin. Upon examination, my heart was pounding against my rib cage.

Written in attractive, dainty handwriting, there was a phone number.