High And Dry

This Mess We're In

quality over quantity? nope sorry. i dont know why but im in an updating mood so here have a cliffhanger

            Ian was glad that Anthony didn’t have to see him break down like this. He was glad that he had sent him to hang out with Kalel.  He did not want his son to see him freaking out over the loss of the man Anthony had called his father.

            Joshua had come over by himself and was trying to talk to Ian, but Ian could barely talk.

            No, Ian wasn’t having a panic attack.

            No, Ian wasn’t sobbing uncontrollably.

            No, Ian wasn’t ready to hurt someone.

            No, Ian wasn’t eating mounds of ice cream while watching romance movies and wallowing in self-pity.

            Ian was trying to fight an oncoming asthma attack.

            He had only ever had an emotion triggered one before, and it was when he first saw Anthony. He was so filled up with emotion that he began hyperventilating and couldn’t breathe.

He had to hide it from Joshua. He hated to admit it, but Ian was a bit embarrassed by his asthma. When he was younger, the kids at school had told him that it wasn’t asthma; he just got tired easily because he was chubby. Ian tried to show them who was boss when he ran track in high school, but he ended up having to use his inhaler after every race. He was in great shape, but he still felt ashamed about it for some reason.

            “Look, just talk to me. What happened?”

            “David and I are dating.”

            Josh looked surprised.

            “Or, we were. I don’t know if we still are.”

            “What do you mean?”

            “Mel came over.”

            “Shit, man. Really?” Josh ran his hands through his hair.

            Ian nodded, taking deep breaths.

            “Are you okay?”

            “I’m fine.”

            “What happened after that?”

            “We went Christmas shopping and she tried to explain to him that she was his mother but Anthony said that his other parent was David and then David left with Mari.”

            “He just left?”

            “He just sort of looked down and got worried and then said he had to go check on how the couch was doing and that Mari would pick him up later.”

            “What an asshole.” Joshua muttered.

            “No, don’t say that.”

            “Ian, you’ve been dating him for like a week, it’s not like you were about to get married. That was a douchey bullshit move he pulled.”

            “It’s not his fault. I should’ve told Anthony sooner.” Ian put his head in his hands, “My whole life is a big fucking mess and I can’t fucking take it.”

            “Life is what you make of it, Ian. When life gives you lemons-”

            “Get mad. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Ian Hecox lemons.” Ian smiled weakly.

            “See? You’re feeling better already.” Josh smiled, “Just distract yourself. Don’t think about him.”

“I can’t. I’m worried. I haven’t seen him or heard from him since. Except on the phone with you and Mari.”

            “He wasn’t with me.” Josh admitted.

            “He what?”

            “I made that up. Matt told me you and Anthony baked cookies so we did too. Mari said that you both acted weird when she called David your boyfriend, then said that you gave her an excuse about needing to clean up baking with Anthony. He wasn’t at my house, Ian. I just knew something was up.”

            "Have you seen him lately?"

            Josh shook his head, "I have no idea where he is. He's not with Mari either."

            Ian nodded, trying to regulate his breathing, but it was very, very difficult.

            He felt his palms getting sweaty and he felt like someone had put their hand around his throat and squeezed. He couldn’t breathe.

            It was real.

            It was happening.