Shanebrose - 50 days

Day 2

It doesn't seem real still. I can't cry.. Everyone else has cried but why can't I...? Do people not cry when they are sad? Or hurt?

I'm sad.. I'm hurt... But.. It's worse. I don't know if it just hasn't settled in... That I won't see you, the rest of my life..? No... I will. Cause someday I will join you..

I know it seems cliché... Saying that some day I'll see you again and join you, but when my time comes, I'll be able to see you again. I don't know how long I will be able to take it... The depression... The fear... The everything...? I just want you back....

I want to cry.. And not seem like I'm unphased by this.. I think I'm the most phased! Because I was your one.. No one else was..! But why can I not cry..?

I need some sleep though, Dean... I'll write you tomorrow..... I love you..

Shane M.