Till the End of the Line: Our Beginning | Stucky Fanfic

Chapter Sixteen

Translations for the chapter are at the end. Sorry for the wait, this chapter got away from me. It's not what I originally planned, but I love it anyways. Unedited like always, but posted in time for Christmas! 

Enjoy!- J x

Chapter Sixteen

1944

"Woo!" Dum Dum boomed as they climbed out of the truck at their newest camp in Belgium. "I'm freezing my ass off, but at least we can mark that base off our list."

Steve nodded, his shield on his left arm and the trunk of weapons they had taken from the base for examination on the other. "Jones, Dernier, lance le feu. Morita, Falsworth, secure the campsite. Dum Dum, double check all of our equipment and take stock of our supplies, and Barnes," he glanced to Bucky, who - frankly - looked awful, "you're with me."

"Yes sir!" Dum Dum grinned with a mock salute. If he'd mocked anyone other than Steve in such a manner, he'd be shipped back to the States on a dishonorable discharge. But thankfully, this was Steve and Steve could care less. It'd been three months since the men joined Captain America's Howling Commandos and an understanding had settled between the Captain and his men. Steve was relaxed enough not to care about formalities when it was just the Commandos on their own (around the Colonel and other soldiers, that was a different story). It was an understanding that the Commandos had come to appreciate, that they didn't have to keep up appearances when they were stuck in the middle of nowhere. It eased some of the tension that came with being deployed. Besides, Steve didn't care how they treated him, as long as they respected him and stuck to the plan during battles.

The Commandos dispersed with a soft laugh rippling through the crowd, the men going about their tasks while Steve guided Bucky into his tent. "Steve, what am I doing in here?" Bucky asked once the flaps were shut and Steve had already started to get situated.

He set down the weapons and checked the locks a few times before he grabbed his briefcase. It wasn't really his, and the Colonel liked to remind him of that, but it made keeping files safe easier. "I need your opinion on my next plan for the base in France. Today worked really well, and I'm thinking-" Steve started, moving towards the table Colonel Phillips had given him

"Steve, do you really need me or is this just some excuse to spend time alone?" Bucky interrupted with his arms crossed and a dangerous glare on his face.

The captain faltered. "I- Well- Both, really?" He cleared his throat. "I like to have your opinion on things," Steve explained, "but I don't really get time with you without the others."

Bucky reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Ever think there was a reason for that? That maybe I don't want to spend time with you alone?"

Steve paused, his watery blue eyes glued to the map he'd pulled out. "Yeah. I did. I just didn't think you could do that. Not to me, at least," he admitted.

"You're not that special, Steve. Not everything's about you," Bucky spat. 'You're a monster, Barnes. You should have been honest with him from the start. All you're doing is causing unnecessary pain that neither of you need. He would have understood eventually if you just cut things off and explained that you didn't want to hold him back anymore.' Bucky thought as he watched Steve's body deflate, slowly curling in on himself. 'He's got that damn kicked puppy look now. All because you put it there.'

"I'm sorry, okay?" Steve whispered. "Look, I don't. . . I don't know what I did or what happened, but I'm sorry." Bucky's already broken heart shattered. 'Steve thinks it's his fault. . . You're going to hell - and not just because you're queer.' Bucky paused, turning his body away slightly as he processed his thoughts. 'Queer? Yeah sure, I like guys - obviously - but I've never thought of myself as queer. . . Guess that clears things up.