Depression

Anxiety

I've stayed away from society because all I can ever do is worry. I constantly think about all the possibility of things that could happen. All the things that could go wrong, by only doing something small. I have so many things going through my head. This is one on the reasons why I hate being in public, overthinking. "What if someone comes up to me and starts talking" "No please don't come over here" "What if I say the wrong thing" "What if they find me annoying" "I bet they don't like me" "I can tell they are judging me" "Oh god oh god oh god" "I can't breathe" These are just some of the many things that go through my mind. I always feel panicky, worried, afraid. I'm so afraid that people are judging me, what if they don't like me? I have serious trust issues. I'd rather stay home and do nothing because I feel safer and calm. I have anxiety. It's not just socially, over everything. Absolutely everything, it's hard making decisions because I think about every possible outcome and then I can never make my choice. I've grown up with anxiety my whole life, it's nothing new to me. But as time passed it got worse and worse. I used to be a bright sort of outgoing shy child, but now I'm a socially awkward stay-at-home teen. I hate interacting with people because I feel like I'm always saying the wrong thing. Like one of my favorite TV show once said "maybe I wasn't meant for friends..." Don't worry don't worry, I tell my self but I can't help it and worry about everything. I've been this way since I was little, worrying about everything. I was never an open person. As I started growing up I started realizing what it was, I was understanding why I was the way I am. I have this thing called anxiety.