Kaleidoscope

Motif 5 : Paisley

October 10

The sky had cleared up a bit more and the sun had finally stretched itself and kissed the ground. Eleanor and I were walking quietly side by side, outside campus. I was busy trying to slow down and labour my big steps to match her short, determined strides whilst she was busy looking at everything and absorbing our surroundings, I noticed that her eyes darted everywhere, right from the shops on our left to the people who passed by us as we walked, observing them and taking all of their essence in.

Maybe she had more to her than I had first imagined.

Every once a while she would look up and give me a small smile and I would nod politely in acknowledgement. But little did she know that I was completely entranced by her. Her piercing green eyes, when met with, felt like they were peering into your soul and reading through your deepest secrets you held prisoner in there. I was miffed the first time myself when her eyes locked with mine and I had lost my breath under their sheer intensity. It was uncomfortable and prickled my skin, the way she seemed to be able to see through to the vulnerable 10 year old who had had his first encounter with his devil. I did everything I could from then on to not look her in the eye and I instead focused on her most striking feature, her hair. In the sunlight, they looked even fierce, glowing like Olympian flames that couldn't be put out. They were long and wavy and I resisted the temptation to ask her whether they were in fact "real", a childish question but they looked too majestic to be true. Everyone who passed by us seemed to think so too, some even stopped abruptly to stare at it flowing like a river of crimson but she didn't care, she did notice, she just didn't care.

She told me that she was taking me to a place that she thought I would very much enjoy and I didn't have the heart to disagree. A simple place to have a quick conversation would do. I was already beginning to get nervous, the gnawing feeling at the back of my mind was now slowly pushing its way to the front, questioning my judgement. I knew better than to interact with her, I knew better. My whole predicament was too much for anyone to handle, I understand what my condition is and I don't expect anyone to stick around either so why should she be an exception? Even if I did end up liking her, it wouldn't be fair on her to push all of this, baggage if you could call it, onto her. As I softly sighed, I knew that tonight was going to be a long night with my lonely friend.

Suddenly as I was jerked back to reality, I found that I was walking alone. The red-haired angel next to me wasn't there anymore. Confusion washed over me and I quickly spun around only to see her standing a few feet away behind me in front of a big glass door. Her eyes were sparkling with amusement and when I looked at her, she doubled over in laughter. Her eyes shut close in crinkles and her quirky teeth were on full display as she threw her head forward, clutching her stomach with one hand. Her laughter was loud and boisterous but it was the kind of laughter that could light up a room, the kind of laughter you would seek during a thunderstorm to muffle the harsh thunder with warmth and the kind that would make lightning look like fireflies crashing to the ground. And an involuntary smile crawled its way to my face as I looked at her.

Once she had calmed down, she shook her head, the waves of her tendrils falling rightly on her forehead and wiped away tears that had joined at the ends of her eyes with a flick of her finger.

"I'm sorry but I had to do that", she said. "I thought it would be amusing to see just how far you went before you realised I wasn't there with you. You looked so lost in your own thoughts and I just so happened to take advantage of that for my own entertainment", she finished.

I just managed to chuckle. "Well it seems you had quite the fun didn't you?", I teased.

By now a small smile rested on her lips, "Sorry again. Now come on, this is the place I was telling you about", she reached the few feet and took me by the sleeves of my coat and dragged me inside.

All these years spent in this city and I had no idea such a place existed. Behind the big glass doors lay a magical wonderland. Rows and rows of books adorned the big magnificent oak shelves. There were a few chairs and tables arranged for seating and a small in-built eatery was situated at one corner. I could imagine myself living here, the endless books would keep me company and I could get lost, transported away from all of the worries that reality held. This was definitely my favourite place now. And I suddenly looked to her with that thought, she actually did know me better than anyone else ever had and this newfound information brought on a sense of uneasiness within me, my mind trying desperately to take reign in this situation with her and miserably failing.

I whispered a small thank you to her, truly grateful and she waved me off though I could see a light colour splattered across her cheeks.

"Go on then. Go pick your poison", she said as she threw her hands in front of her towards the big endless shelves gesturing me to move and look around and with that she quickly disappeared within the shelves at the far end. As I moved around, taking in the whole place, I finally felt a little bit of forgotten happiness that seemed to seep in through me. Not a big, pounding sensation that came and crashed in through waves, again and again pulling your soul along with it but a small flicker of content. A small spark used to start a fire to chase away the cold. I ruffled my dark brown hair and started to go through the books in front of me, my long fingers tracing the spine of the books, glossing over each letter printed over it as I got lost in them.

Little did I realise that I had a small on my face the whole time.