Society Is Evil

part 7

Tonight was almost her last night, she could've died. She wishes that she did, her parents treat her horribly. She has to wear long-sleeved shirts again, more cuts keep serf acing on her wrists, both this time. She hates her school, she feels like only one boy can make it better, but she knows he has no chance with him. He was in ninth grade and she is seventh, two years apart, but one of her close friends says she'll try to get him for her. Every time that he got near, she would automatically go into some weird mode and act all strange. He did in the past like her and she thinks that he still sort of does. He was perfect in all ways, even straight down to the tattoo on his left hand, yes she knows what hand it is on, how could she not? He is in her mind like all day all the time! He might not like her, though. He might be dating someone from another school. IT'S NOT FAIR!!! She liked him before anyone else did and if he dates another girl, she'll be heartbroken, more like everything broken. He is perfect, she has felt like this before, only when she falls in love is when she starts to imagine her future with him. It is different every time. She watches how they act in school and if they know their stuff. She then imagines what they would be when they get older, and how much money they would have and the house. Finally, she imagines a family and having kids and all of those other things. She loves every piece of him, and wants and needs every piece of him.  She knows she will have to change completely to make him like her, and she is fine with that all around. There is this one boy who whenever she's not looking, he just stares at her and thinks about god-knows-what. He's okay, but this boy she keeps talking about, is absolutely everything that she wants in a guy. He's funny, good-looking, nice, and he is tall. She loves guys with tattoos, she is planning on getting some when she is seven-teen. Her friends say if she ruins her body with ink, they will leave her. Let them leave if they won't except me how she is and how she wants to be, they can go fuck themselves for all she cares. Wait a second, SHE DOESN'T CARE!!!! They can hate her all they want, but she will just be herself, only around him, if he is the one she knows he will love her with all his heart, no matter what she looks like. She is crazy; nobody likes a girl with tattoos everywhere on her body. She won't get a job; she will be stuck bar-tending her entire life. She wants tattoos but she doesn't want to risk getting her dream job. Working at the medical research center in Danville by the Geisinger hospital. She saw that place and immediatly thought that place would be perfct for her to work, considering how much she loves science, she is a science nerd. She wishes that everone would know the truth about her and how much she loves science. She loves soccer, too. Science is one of her favorite subjects bu she has a low grade and she wishes that she knew more. She wants to help people, not let people help her. She is her own person, but she is socially akward, meaning all of her friends eventually leave her in the dust and all alone with no one to help her fend for herself. She is all alone and she knows that she can't do anything about it, and it sickens her to just think about being all alone with no one but herself. She is at war with her own mind.