The Perfectly Unperfect Love

Chapter 4: I Forgot Happiness

I'm home.

A message I sent to Kale a few minutes after I entered my clean room. It's weird cause I left it pretty messy. Unfixed bed, clothes scattered all over the floor, and the smell you can't deal with.

I'm not a dirty kind of a kid but I can't hide the fact that I'm too lazy to clean up small messes around my room.

I don't really use much of the things in my room. The bed and bathroom is all I need. I requested a small fridge to my Dad when I turned seventeen but he didn't let me. I remember the exact words he said.

"No Cy. I'm not giving you another reason to stay in your room forever. A speaker will do for you young man."

And yes I don't talk that much to them. I grew up with my Aunt in her house. When she died 5 years ago, I went back to my family and those years aren't enough to completely talk to them freely and forget the fact that they aren't the one who took care of me when I was a kid.

My thoughts went back when I heard my phone beeped.

I sent you home three days ago. Where were you in those days? I told you if you didn't go home fast, there will be no chance of having me back.

I message from Kale.

Yeah, we still communicate after what happened. I'm an idiot I know but I love him. We didn't broke up that day so technically there's still "us".

Also, he commanded me to go straight home immediately after the commotion I made.

Thinking deeply. I, then, decided to call him. Hoping he answers.

I tapped the telephone icon and put my phone on my ear.

It's ringing.

It beeped and there I heard his voice.
Chills went through my spine. I feel hurt. I bit sad. I really am talking to the person I loved the most that kicked me out of his place.

"Why aren't you talking? No explanations?"
he said with anger.

"No. Why would I. You don't even care."
I responded bitterly.

"Do you think I will answer this call and ask you if I don't fucking care about you?"

I took a deep breath. Point taken.

"I stayed at Lily's."

"Why didn't you just directly went home?"

"What? Do you expect me to go home broken? Crying? Are you out of your mind?! Mom would kill you probably."

"You're the reason why these things happened!"

"What?! You blame me from knowing the truth that you kept for months? You're out of your mind."

"No. You are! You forced a tired person to wake up just to get answers to your stupid questions. He is older than you!"

"Now you're taking his side? Of course! What would I expect? He is the love of your life and I'm the stupid moron called boyfriend of YOURS that you treated like crap for the past two months."

"What are you talking about?"

"And now we're playing dumb? Okay."

I heard the phone beeped.

The call ended.

He is always like this. He thinks he knows everything. He thinks he can predict all our moves.

And when I'm right and he's wrong, he will stop the conversation and not talk to me.

He changed a lot particularly his behavior with other people but one thing remains.

His pride.

He look at himself better than everyone else.

My phone beeped.

What did you do in Lily's place?

A text message from Kale.

I smiled.

He is a jealous bastard.

Nothing.

I replied.

What did I do in Lily's place?

Well she is a close friend so what does close friends do together?

Not sex of course.

We ate. A lot actually. It's not surprising because whenever I go there, Ernie, her dad, cooks a lot and there were only three of us inside the house that have to eat up and consume all of the food he prepared.

Those days I'm there were kind of special because her mother went home from Dubai. Expecting more food and also a lot of chocolates for us to eat.

Lily's parents are very welcoming when it comes to her friends. But you have to have a great reason to stay in their house or else you're dead.

The first day I went there, she listened to me about the reason I went to her in a short notice and not with my boyfriend.

I explained everything and of course as a friend she felt angry of what Kale did to me. I tried to calm her down that day because she might rush and go to Kale's place and punch him.

Lily is kind of boyish. But she's cool.

Second day is fun because they went to the mall with the family of Ernie's sister.

That day I felt fine. Happy. I saw what I'm missing when I decided to live with Kale.

Enjoyment.

Since I went to Kale's place, all we did was fight then be fine and fight again. I cried almost every night. He never gave me that much attention. We were together but his mind is somewhere else.

One time I hugged him. I felt his arms doing something in my back. He is texting. And I knew who it was.

Bruno.

I told him this.

I'd love to take a picture of us in this position. Hugging each other but your attention is in that phone. How contradicting.

And what did he said?

I'm with you and he's far away. Isn't that enough for you?

I wanted to answer back but I know it will turn to a fight again.

Of course it's not enough knowing his mind is occupied by other person. Not just other person.

It is his lover!

I'm with him but he is not with me.

But before I cry, let's go back to us in that mall.

We ate a pricey ice cream which is expected because knowing Lily is an only child and her mom have a steady job outside the country. She is kind of spoiled and pricey things aren't her problem.

We roam around window shopping especially me because I don't have money. We ate at a Japanese restaurant and finally. What I've been waiting for.

ARCADE!!!

Everytime I go there, my inner child feeling releases and I can't hide it.

From noon to night we played. We also tried the Kareoke Hub and the dancing thing.

That day was amazing. I wish I could do it again.

And the third day. The hardest day. Going back to reality and back home. Lily's mom and Lily herself felt sad when I told them I have to go. Not raising myself but I'm really good at bonding with other people even though I don't know them that much.

That's the day I went home. Sad but at least I didn't have to go home devastated the way I am 2 days ago.

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Author's Note:
This chapter is quite good to me. I felt happy remembering thise moments. Finding happiness in the midst of darkness. Well there it is.

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