Keep on Fighting (The 5th Wave)

Part ONE

"I love you, Evan Walker." I say the words quietly in his ear so only he would hear them. "Come back to me, you hear?"

He nods at me. "I love you, Cassie. I love you more than you would ever know. And for that you freed me, and I'm thankful for every day I got to spend with you."

"Just promise me you'll come back."

"I promise." And then Evan kisses me, hard, and I melt into his arms. As soon as he disappears, my resolve breaks, and I want to collapse onto the floor and cry. But Ben Parish is standing behind me, and I can feel his breath on the back of my neck.

"We need to go now, Cassie!"

And then the world explodes.

I'm screaming in my sleep. Once again, the nightmare of Evan walking away from me wakes me up. Sammy is around me in an instance, holding me as I cry into his shoulder. I can't believe I didn't tell Evan how I felt about him before he left for good.

You don't know that, Cassie. You don't know if he's actually dead. All you know is that he went back to the armory to blow up the green eyes.

I don't feel the hole that Evan felt when Lauren died. I don't feel that way, so in a way I have to assume that he's alive and well. I look up to see Ringer staring at me from across the little camp we've made. She stays up as lookout most of the nights, saying something about Ben being able to drive while she sleeps in the back of the Jeep.

She walks over to me and crouches.

"I don't know what happened back there, but I'm betting it wasn't pretty." Is all she says before walking back to her spot.

I rub Sammy's head, and then I tell him to go back to sleep. He does so dutifully, while I lie there under the stars, trying to think of something other than Evan Walker. The silencer. My silencer. Now that I think about it, it sounds almost lovingly. My silencer.

I feel a couple tears escape my eyes. I was telling the truth before, about not running away from my fear; and I'm going to hold up to that bargain. Whatever I do, I've stopped running. I'm facing those fears up front and close.

But first we need to find the new camp that Vosch took the kids to, and then we will infiltrate and attack the system from within.

How you might ask are we going to do that? I have no idea, but we are going to try, and then I'm going to kill Vosch.

For everything he took away from me. My mother, my father, and Evan. Evan Walker. The only guy I'd ever come close to being with. The one who said he loved me first. And I couldn't say it back to him.

I feel like the biggest wuss in the world. Why didn't I just tell him when I had the chance? Because you know he's not dead, Cassie. Evan is out there somewhere, most likely alone, and probably freaked out because he's not sure if you made it out of there. I can't think about that right now. As I turn to the left, I see that the sun is rising.

Another day, another breakfast.

Thankfully, we have three good shooters in this sorry group of kids. There's Ringer, who's not only an amazing shot, she is a pretty good cook. Then there's Poundcake, who is also a pretty good shot. And then there's me. Cassie Sullivan. The only one without military training, but I was taught by one of the best.

By the time our camp is up, I see teacup rubbing her eyes. It's barely even 5:30 in the morning, and these kids are already up. That's how fucked up the military system is, making these kids wake up at 5:30 is complete and utter bullshit.