The Rose In the Night

One|part Two: morning of the gods (rough draft)

Dewey hazel eyes begin Form in front of me as the darkness begins to ooze from my pores. Yet I can still feel its claws around my heart and its teeth at my neck.

It never truly leaves me.

My fingertips dig into the soft sweat-soaked  cloud beneath me trying to remind myself I'm
still with the living. Yet I begin to question my own sanity as I realize I can still smell blood.

I desperately look over to my maid's bed Eager to find comfort from her. Only to find her frame still laying still in her pad. Seeming  to sleep through My screams

Theo shifts his heavy metal frame infront of me blocking the  window's chilly morning air. Even so my shivers don't  stop. I continue to tremble like a cat caught out in rain. My entire body aches with fear. Fear I've only felt when my mother died. 

I look around at the four white wall I was born in. Gold leaves embroidered the walls. Furniture that seemed as if it was made for the gods themselves dressed the room. Reminding me I'm  in the safest place in theodosia and  my dream was only a dream.

So why did I still feel so afraid?

"Rose?" Theo calls to me again as if using my name could bring me to him sooner. Yet his eyes were no longer on me.They  zip through the shadows looking for any signs of a threat. That same glimmer of terror I see in his eyes now I felt only a few minutes ago. I try to calm my heart reminding myself I had nothing to run from. That I was safe in these walls. Safe with Theo. The dreams felt so real they always felt so real.

It's been the same one almost every night for weeks. Playing in my mind over and over again. Always ending the same.

I look towards the mat on the floor. Looking my handmaiden comfort. Her frame lay still beneath the comforter, unmoving.

The heat of Theo's  eyes return to me with more confusion. I can feel my face begin to burn as I feel  the man I consider a brother to me rake over every inch of my half naked body. Despite knowing him my entire life he's never seen me like this. The fear I felt only a few moments ago was replaced by embarrassment. He barely seems to notice as he moves his hand to away from his sword.

I look over him to see half of the watchers of the light in my bedroom. Backs against the gold plated walls and Hands at their silver swords. Their eyes empty. They were just limbs waiting for a command from their head. Yet there armor would do little to protect me. The attacker they seek wasn't something there swords could protect me from. Nothing they could do would protect me from my own mind. This wasn't the first time I'd woken my guards from my screams. Lately the screams have increased with the nightmare. Coming more violently then before.

His eyes begin to crinkle with concern beneath his heavy metal helmet as they return back to mine. Metals forged from the deepest caves of Theodosia. Only the strongest metals for castle guards. Yet when his eyes could suddenly find the terror only the dreams could make me feel they soften into understanding. He was  the son of my mother's guard before mine. Sometimes I wondered if he ever thought just like everyone else I would become just like her eventually. I remember the endless nights of her screams ripping through the castle like a endless wrath of terror. It only stopped when she returned back to the gods. I wonder if that was my only escape as well.

The nightmares have become more vicious and angry the longer I've returned to these four walls. The feed on me like my own personal parasite.

Despite the fear the nightmares seems to cast over my life I would willingly go back to them. Just to feel my mother holding my hand again. So my mind can trick itself into believing she still alive instead of a quickly fading memory.

As if hearing my thoughts. Theo's eyes move from my face to my hands. I look down at my own surprised to see crimson red dotes caking my brown fingertips. My mind fades to the blood on my mother's hands. All the blood in the snow. Almost four moons later I still didn't know who's blood it could be.

"I'll  send for a light keeper?" He announces before turning to leave the room. The watchers of the light click there hills together in unison before putting there swords back in place. Standing straight in attention.

"No! " I command causing them all to stop abruptly  in their tracks.   I feel my heart sink as Theos eyes lock with mine. no longer the eyes of my childhood friend but ones of a obedient soldier. It was rare for me to ever use my power over him. I had too much respect for the man who has been trained to protect me since he was born. Although I feel guilty hurting the feelings of my longest friend. I didn't want  the healers to feed me the same potions they fed my mother. They only ever made her worse.

"I'll be fine." I do my best to hide the pain I feel from showing on my face.

The surpise in his face is gone so fast i think i most as imagined it as  his eyes are empty again. Ones of an obedient soldier's. I knew his training told him I was lying yet his eyes stayed empty. Another part of his training.  I hate seeing the same eyes I see on everyone else here on him. Those eye  were like the dead eyes of the pigs the cook serves.

He clicks his heals in attention before bowing at the hip.

My heart stings as if his bow were a slap in the face.  He was different since we returned to the castle. We all were. I hate it. I want to reach out and tell him how much i miss my friend over the obedient soldier.  Which he was meant to by the laws of our country. What i didnt understand is that the laws never stopped him before . Whats changed since weve returned to the castle.

"As you wish." before leaving the room. The rest of his platoon salute and quickly follow him. Their foot steps seem to pound around my mind as they slap against the tile floors.