Lonely // Lucaya

Part 2.

I stared at him for some minutes, without saying any word, I knew that he was saying something but I just couldn't answer him. C'mon, you can do it maya. I took a deep breath and tried to know what he was saying.

"...so, you're back." He said, he seemed  so hurt, different of the old Lucas that I know. I looked at him: he was using the same t-shirt, blue, and his jeans. But his face was a little tired, and  'heavy', the same expression of someone that doesn't sleep for days or maybe, months.

I sighed. I didn't want to see him like this, but I couldn't do anything. Of course I still love him, but it is better if we stay separated, it is for our own good. Doctor Forbes said to me, I believe on him.  " yes, I guess so." I shrugged, even though I was feeling a little weird, my words are emotionless when I answered him.

"Are you better?" He asked, maybe trying to talk.

"Much better." 

"good... why do you-"

"I have to go."  I cut him off and started walking away from him.

"but maya, I need to know! I need to know why you broke up with me, why you left me, left all of us. I missed you, damn it, I still love you! please tell me what happened, I just want to know your reasons." He said looking at me and it broke me, he was hurt, he was hurt because of me. Like always it was my fault, I was hurting him like I always did. I looked at him and pushed away all the bad feelings. Do what forbes said, he did it with you, remember what Forbes said. I thought as I shock my head and looked at him, biting my lip, even though that I was trying to be okay, the feeling and the voices are coming back. I needed to go, he couldn't see me like this. "No, I won't explain anything to you, Lucas. And I won't come back about what I said to you. We broke up and that's it. So, don't ask me about this ever again."

"maya-"

"goodbye lucas"  I left there almost running, as tears started falling down my cheeks. ' you should kill yourself', 'do it do it',  'bitch Bitch Just end it", ' its all your fault, you killed your parents and now Lucas is hurt because of you.'
STOP! Stop, I know that it's all my fault.
' no, you don't. If you do, you had already killed yourself'
I tried to avoid all the people who told me hi or asked if I was ok as I went to a lonely place and sat in a corner, putting my head on my knees and my hands on my ears, trying to don't hear the voices
"please, stop! please please" I muttered, still crying. It was hurting, hurting a lot. I thought that I could handle with all this pain, but I couldn't to it alone. I needed my doctor. Yes, Mr. Forbes will help me.

I stayed here for a while, crying and screaming on my mind, with the voices, trying to make them stop. Well, it just worked when I finally drank my pills, but it was a shame. I promised to him that I'd stop with the medicines. I disappointed him.

I sighed as I got up and started making my way to home.
"Peaches!" I turned around to see Riley running at me, holding some books on her hands.
"oh, hey Riles" I smiled a little and stopped walking, and waited her.
"how are you?"
"fine and you?" It was a lie, I know but I can't say to her that I got worse, if I did it, she would see me as a freak. And I don't want to be the freak one.
"Excellent! so, I am going to do a party today, 10 Pm. Will you go?" She asked smiling, excited.
"of course. I need the old parties and the drinks, you know." I smiled a little, joking. Riley nodded as she laughed a little.
"ok, so let's go and we can get ready together."
"ok" I smiled a little and we went to her house, but in the middle of the walk I sent a message to my doctor saying that I was going to see him tomorrow. And after I did it,  I kept paying attention on what she was saying. It was going to be a good night, even though that I should be home

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(a/n)
Sorry for not posting, I was busy with the school.
So, I hope that you guys like this simple and horrible chapter.
Love y'all