For YOU...
I don't know where to start or how to do this. I should have done this a long time ago, but I guess I haven't gotten enough courage by then. I'm not even sure if I should still be devoting my precious time pondering on "things," knowing these would not make any difference by now. I just know that I need to be released from the "prison" I've put myself into all this time.
Let me begin by admitting that I haven't completely moved on from "the past." How is it possible when all I have were unconfirmed "feelings and assumptions?" How can I let go of something I don't even own from the very beginning? How can I move forward when I'm being haunted by the "ghost" that keeps coming back?
Before, I ignored the "signs" and "walked away" when I felt that it isn't the "right time." I tried to act normal, that nothing's wrong or missing in my life. I believed I was doing the "right thing," that somehow it would lead me to my own "happiness" I've been longing for quite some time. I spared my heart from being "broken" because I can't picture myself crying over some things that are "not meant to be." But I've come to realize that I've gotten it all "wrong," the truth is I've been a "coward."
I focused on my priorities, leaving my heart behind and saving it for later. I'm overwhelmed by my "beliefs" and blinded by my "fantasies" that I almost forgotten I'm living in a "real world." Where "magic" doesn't really exist and not all "once upon a time" ended up in "happily ever after." I used to think that somewhere, someone's waiting for me all these years only to realize I've put all my faith to "waste."
All this time, I've been pretending. I know it's so selfish of me to justify my actions. But who else would I turn to? To whom can I trust my own heart that needs to be taken cared of? I guess it's all making sense now, I'll love myself first. And when the time comes that I've completely accepted my flaws, maybe then I'll be ready to face the world as a "changed" person capable of loving and being loved.
But for now, I'm closing this chapter of my life including YOU as part of it. I hope you'll understand. I know for sure that this is the "right thing" to do. This will be the last time you'll hear from me. Thank you, sorry and goodbye...
From Someone (you used to know)
