4- "Breakup sex?"

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(Ok, don't drool at the title. Just keep reading 😜😜 Ps- Happy belated Valentines day 💓)

« AHANA »

Time was a bitch. Maybe it was Vansh's and my busy schedules that kept us away or perhaps it was the flow of time itself that made us behave this way. Bottom line being, time wasn't with us.

After getting along a few weeks, we decided to plan yet another enjoyment date. It could be anything except a midnight date. I didn't want to go through that bitter experience again. It took me two days worth of crying and forgiving him to move on from it. The sour image of the time when I forcefully tried to seduce him was still stuck in my head. I felt cheap and dejected but most of all, I was shocked by his words. I was shocked that we were thinking along the same lines. He thought I didn't notice but I did. His dejected glances, his fake smiles of reassurance, his lack of interest in my life- I've noticed them all. There were so many instances that made me think he was getting bored of me but I never voiced it out. What we needed most was to offer our time to each other so we wouldn't feel insecure anymore.

But as I said, time wasn't in favor with us. We planned to go on Adventure island which was a huge amusement park in Delhi but it was only after a month later that we managed. Luckily, it went better than expected. Atleast better than the previous one. We actually managed to spend a decent time together and share laughs like good, old times. I could feel our gloomy atmosphere changing. I just hoped we would remain this way.

And we did for a while.

Our relationship was going on like a rubber band. We stretched out and just when we were progressing, we bounced back, returning to where we previously stood. We met, we talked, then parted ways without a meaningful goodbye. One of us would call the other sometime to suggest a date and then we would adjust our timings to meet at random. We would end up skipping a week often. I wasn't an idiot. I was aware of the honeymoon phase that started in a relationship. Our honeymoon phase started to fade after I passed out of college but I liked to believe we managed fine while doing long distance. Maybe that's how married couples lived but not us- we weren't married. We were still living our youth. We had more than half of our lives ahead of us and yet we behaved like a *sanyaasi couple. Like our relationship was our last priority in our lives. What was wrong with us? I wished I could know because it annoyed the hell out of me.

Vansh could feel it, too. We both knew that but he never discussed about it. He was scared of the outcome. So was I. I would blame it on the fast paced work life while he would blame it on the lack of time. Eventually, it was February- the month of love.

It wasn't a matter of belief, I simply loved the concept of Valentines day. People say there was no need to invent a day exclusively for couples. True, but they fail to realize it's motive. Those days are celebrated to induce excitement in our ordinary lives, even if it's as mundane as a hug day. Vansh and I celebrated those list of stupid days in our own crazy ways. Like gifting each other chocolate and a teddy bear. Vansh even went as far as taking me to a zoo one time, to snap a photo with a real, breathing bear. We even slapped each other on the cheek during slap day. Man, those were some fun days.

I reminisced this as I lay on my bed with my boyfriend's half assed message in my smartphone. He wished me propose day just two hours before the next one. The message only consisted of three words (Happy propose day). No emojis. No video of him, proposing me like he did last year. And before someone accused me of waiting for him to make his first move then let me tell you, I was the one who wished him on all the previous days. It would have been better if he hadn't wished at all. And he said I lost interest in him? Well, he had no darn right to accuse me.

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