Still Into You

Eighteen

A/N: Enjoy and Happy Reading!

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Eighteen





"I'm so sorry for spacing out." I apologized after the waiter put our order in the table and walked away.



"It's okay. So, what were you thinking that made you space out like that?" he asked as he took a sip from his drink.



"Uhm..." I grabbed my drink and took a sip of it as he did, not answering his question. "This is... Good god! This is good!" I exclaimed as I gulped down a mouthful.



"You're avoiding the question. Why?" he asked, eyeing me for a moment. "Is this about yesterday night?" he added.



"Oh god! No!" I answered in a rush, shocked that it was what he's thinking. "Why? Is there something about yesterday that bothered you?" I asked back, my voice low as a whisper.



Logan stared at me for a few beat before he looked out the clear glass wall behind me. He let out a huge breath of sigh before looking back at me. "I'm so sorry that you have to witness that. Amanda and I date a few months back. I broke up with her after she cheated on me. She kept asking for forgiveness. But, I had enough. Twice, she cheated on me. Twice." He explained his voice a whisper, yet his voice went deep as he states the last word in anger.



As he continued on his confession, I kept my eyes on his sad face. My heart was squeezed every time his eyebrow crunched together as he describes a painful event of his past. For a few more minutes, he kept on talking, telling me his story and relationship with Amanda. And, every time he addresses her name, I felt like throwing up for some reason. It was like the same reflex reaction I have in the mention of my ex-boyfriend's name.



"I'm so sorry for telling you this, Ally. I know that it is none of your business. But, I just had enough. You know." He said after a few beat of silence.



"It's okay, Logan. I understand what you are going through. I got cheated myself. I trusted the wrong guy." I said with a strained chuckled, giving him a forced smile.



"Why were you with that guy anyway? I know you can do better than that, Ally." He asked seriously, his voice has a slight of disappointment on them.



"Yeah. You're not the first man who asked me that." I stated in mock disgusted.



"I didn't mean it like that, Al. I mean. You are a beautiful, smart, witty, and strong young woman. The guy was clearly a dougebag. So, why were you with him?" he asked softly, trying not to sound rude.



"That's sweet of you, Logan." I said with a half smile and took a deep breath. "I'm not really keen on picking the right man. I'm slightly blind on that department." I admitted grimly.



"Can you say that I was one of those men you've dated that weren't the right one?" He asked coolly as he stared right at me, his blue eyes turning liquid.



"I can't say." I replied in hush tones, my throat suddenly dry.



In that moment, I was sucked in with those tantalizing Caribbean blue eyes. My breath suddenly hitched as my heat took off in a fast rhythm. My stomach in knots as I sat there immobile, there was nowhere I could run that those eyes wouldn't find me. I realized that fact on the first time those blue eyes fell upon mine.



But our staring contest was interrupted when my phone suddenly rings. I was relieved when he looks away from me. I took a steady breath before getting my phone on my purse. It rings impatiently as I looked for it. When I finally found it, I clicked the answer button without looking at the caller ID on the screen.



"Hello." I said in greeting.



"Ally. How are you?" a familiar British accent asked on the other end of the phone.



"Andre. I'm fine. How are you?" I asked back, my voice raising an octave. In the instant, I turned my body away from Logan, slightly embarrassed by his prying eyes in that moment.



"I'm fine, thank you. I just called to say that last night was marvelous. I had so much fun." He replied in glee.



"Me too." I agreed with a smile.



"So, I wanted to ask you. If you are free this evening, would you care to go on another dinner with me?" he asked with sheer confidence.



"Oh. Dinner. Tonight." I stated by word, slightly caught off guard by his offer. I glance quickly in Logan's direction and saw that his attention is centered on his Strawberry tart. "How about I call you on that later? I have company at the moment." I added as I looked away from him.



"Oh. Are you at home?" he asked, his voice sounded unaffected by my reply.



"No. I'm out. I had my cast taken off today." I answer as truthfully as I can. Inside, I was mentally chanting that Andre wouldn't ask who I was with at the moment.



"Oh. Why didn't you tell me yesterday? I could have accompanied you to the hospital." Andre asked his voice as a hint of disappointment.



"It didn't really cross my mind." I admitted shyly in a whisper. "Sorry, Andre. But, can I call you back? I don't want to alienate my companion." I insisted.



"Okay. Call me back soon." He finally gave in.



"Bye." I said in final after which I ended the call. "I'm so sorry about that." I said as I put my phone in my purse and glance back to Logan.



"Why didn't you say yes?" Logan asked suddenly, catching me off guard.



I turn to look at him in surprise. "I don't know whether I would have plans this evening..." I replied, blinking my eyes rapidly as I clear my head. But, before I could continue, my phone rang again. This time I check the caller ID so that I wouldn't be caught off guard.



"Allison Coleman. Why didn't you tell me you were going to have your cast removed today?" Annette asked before I could get out a word of greeting.



"Yeah. Well, you aren't the first one who I got that reaction today. I forgot. Sorry." I replied in deadpan, but said the last two words softly.



"Who was the other disappointed person?" She pried her voice insistent. I regretted even saying a word about it. Me and my big mouth sometimes.



"That's not important." I replied as I tried to weave out the question.



"How about we have dinner tonight?!" she suggested in enthusiasm, her attention and mood changing three sixty.



"Sure. I would love to have dinner with you ton..." I replied, but trailed off as she interrupted me with another question.



"Would you mind bringing your Brit hottie? I've been dying to meet him. Oh! How did the date go?" She asked, bombarding with questions.



"No, I will not bring anyone to dinner as a date. And, last night was..." I replied sternly but trailed off as my thoughts went back to last night's kiss with Andre.



"Did he kiss you? He kissed you, did he!" Annette asked her voice raising a higher octave.



"Can we talk about this another time? I'm with someone right now." I interjected sternly, not letting her mood swings get to me. Now, I'm wondering how pregnant my best friend is? Is it even normal to have this much mood swings?



"Are you with him now? Oh my Gosh. You're seeing him again after last night's date. You like this guy." Annette mumbled on, ignoring my tone.



"It's not Andre. Please. Later, Annette." I replied and sigh in frustration.



"Wait. You're seeing someone else instead of the Brit guy?" She asked in shock as she took a sudden intake of breath.



"No, I'm not seeing anyone. I'm eating pastry and drinking coffee with Logan." I replied in defense, a bubble of anger slowly rising up.



"You're with..." She stated in a whisper and trailed off into silence.



"Talk to you later. Okay. Bye." I said after a few moments when I realize what I just said to Annette. I ended the call after that, feeling slightly rude but relieved. She was starting to grill me with information on the spot, in the phone. It wasn't a comfortable feeling at all.



"Are you alright?" Logan asked after a few moments, eyeing me with concern.



I looked at him and gave him a small smile. "I'm fine, that was Annette." I replied with a sigh.



"Yeah, I took a hint when the first word came out of your mouth in reply to the silent question." He said with a smirk, eyeing me in amusement. "So, you now have something planned this evening." He adds.



"I do, now." I agreed in realization.



"So, I can only have you before then." He stated his voice low as a whisper. "When your finish, can I take you somewhere? If you don't have anything else planed this afternoon." He asked aloud with slight enthusiasm.



"Uhm... sure." I replied with uncertainty but my curiosity got the better of me.



We ate and drank out pastry and drinks without interruption after my call with Annette. Logan and I became comfortable with each other after a few exchanges of words, and then the flow of conversation became more natural. When we finally stepped out of the pastry shop, driving to our next location which he insisted to be a surprise, we were laughing at each other's corny jokes. It felt like I was back to my senior high school self who taught she had found her perfect mister right. In that moment, I felt bare and stripped. Yet, I wasn't scared to be true to myself with this man. For, I know and trusted the man in front of me.



I was so preoccupied with Logan's tale about one of his pranks back in collage in medical school that I wasn't aware where he was taking me. When I got the view of the street, I stopped dead mid-chuckle as I saw the huge Ferris wheel by a shore.



"Are we in what I think we are?" I asked, unsure what I just trying to say.



"Yes. I'm taking you to an amusement park. You need some amusement after a month of hardship." Logan stated with a smirk as he drove towards the huge ride.



"Are you kidding me? I don't want to break anymore parts of my body." I admitted in mock horror, looking at him with my eyes wide.



He chuckled some more from my reaction. And then, he let out a breath, his face suddenly turning serious. "Do you remember when you ask me to take you to an amusement park back then?" He asked, his voice suddenly low, a contrast to his loud enthusiastic words as he told me his stories.



"Yeah. You said you'd take me when you get accepted to Yale." I replied in recognition, reminiscing those days with him.



"That's right. But since I never got an acceptance letter, I never did take you to an amusement park." He stated sadly his eyes looking straight in front of him.



I didn't say anything from then on and let the silent engulf us until he parked the car near the amusement park. The place wasn't grant as most parks that I've seen in other cities in the country. Yet, there was something beautiful and intimate about the place. It made it seemed private, like only the people who knew about it know about its location. It wasn't out of sight to the huge buildings that we live. But, since the location is a few mile out of the city, it seems disconnected to the city lights.



When we finally got inside, I was amazed by the vintage touch to its architectural design. Though the rides looked modern, the stores surrounding it seemed like a set from a fifties movie era.



"Do you love it? Rayne actually told me about this place." Logan asked, finally breaking the silence between us, and also breaking my attention from my surrounding.



I turned and looked at him and beamed. And, in spur of the moment, I half ran up to him and gave him a hug. "Thank you." I whispered.



"No problem." Logan replied as he hugged me back, squeezing me tightly for a second.



Slowly, I pulled away from his hold, my eyes looking down as I realized my actions. I don't know why I kept doing things on impulse these days. It's getting on my nerves.



"So, any rides you want to go on first?" Logan asked after a moment while we got comfortable with the distance between us.



"How about we start with the extreme to the least extreme?" I retorted with a grin.



"Good plan." He answered, eyeing me with amusement.



For the rest of the day, our time together was consumed with riding all of the rides twice except for the Ferris wheel. We took a break to eat our lunch and dessert, but we went back at it again after a few minutes. I felt really bad on the second time, since Logan threw up after we rode the mini coaster. All of those burritos he had eaten, gone in the trash bin. So, after the incident, I suggested that we finally ride the tower high Ferris wheel. Around that time, the sun was about to set, so the view when we reached at the top was breath-taking.



"Ally, can I ask you something?" Logan said, breaking the silence as we set foot inside the confine mini carrier.



I hesitantly took my eyes away from the view and look at him with curiosity. "Sure."



"What did you say no?" He asked after a few beat of silence.



My heart hitched, my eyes slightly widen at his sudden question. He sure knows how to catch me off guard every time. Why, oh, why did he have to ask me a question I've longed forgotten the answer to? "Logan... I..." I stuttered as I try to come up an answer.



"After thinking it for so many years, I just couldn't find the right, reasonable reason why you refused my proposal." He admitted in a soft, low voice, sadness clear in each word.



"Logan. Why have you asked me this question now? It has been more than eight years since it happened. Why now?" I asked my voice quivering slightly as emotions builds up inside of me.



"I don't know. I just... When I saw you again after all this years, these emotions, these feelings came crushing back to me. I know that the past is the past, and you probably don't want to talk about it. But, I just... I don't know. I want to know why, Allison. I want to know why you refuse my proposal that day. Is it because you love someone else? But, I know that can't be it. You still talked to me even after I've told you some awful things and cheated on you when you rejected me. But, you didn't reject me. If you did, you would have walked away; yet, you didn't." He said aloud, his voice ringing clear inside the closed space.



As he talked, letting everything out of his system, I stared at him in silence, my eyes never leaving his face. Suddenly, my heart felt like it's been squeezed. I'm speechless by his confession. After all this years, he finally came up to me and asked. He finally asked me why I refuse him, the man that used to be my world. Do I really want to relive that feeling again, that painful moment?



"Allison. Please, talk to me." He begged again as I stayed quite after his confession.



"Logan." I started after a few moments, my voice like a sweet whisper in the wind. "I refuse you because I'm scared of losing you. I refused you because I know you're going to leave me. We were young, Logan. Our world was too small, too confine in that small town. I let us go in order for us to grow and experience new things. I wanted us to see the world before we take part of it together. But, I never wanted us to part. You decided that on your own when you slept with her..." I trailed off as my voice started to become rough as I held back tears.



"I'm so sorry for being such an a**hole. For being so immature, I don't know what I was thinking at that time. Why I did it? I just don't know..." He said as he hunched down as he covered his face with his hand in shame.



Softly, I tugged one of his arms, wanting to face and his pain. "It's okay, Logan. You don't have to feel bad about it. That was a long time ago." I said, trying to comfort him.





In that moment, the ghost that lingers in my past died. A ghost I didn't know existed until he opened that door to me. Yet, as those ghost where put to rest, a sudden feeling surfaced within me. A sudden feeling of incompleteness rage within me like there was something missing. Though this only happen a fraction of a second, I didn't know that this feeling would only grew more as I ignore it.