For my alcoholic father
my father is an alcoholic
barely functioning
he once told me he likes to feel it burn his insides
he never told me to stay clear of it
he never told me to watch out for boys who would slip it in my drinks
he told me to watch out for boys who would slip inside my heart
I of course didn't listen
I let you slip past my defenses and warm my insides
six months later you left
and here I am trying to cope
my insides feel frozen and shattered
I’ve resorted to cheap whiskey
because that’s how you made me feel
cheap
empty
cold
I now understand the burning sensation my father claims to love
his resort since my mother died
when you can’t feel anything else
the burning begins to feel like home
