Gonna Get Better - Camren

Chapter 6

I was woken up when I felt Lauren shift in my arms. I opened my eyes slowly only to be met by darkness. We were probably still in the middle of the night.

"Where are you going?" my voice cracked a little. She turned to face me and we locked eyes. She was already halfway off the bed.

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you up" she apologized without really answering the question.

"Don't worry about that" I dismissed her apology "Where are you going?"

"I was going for a walk" she admitted shyly.

"Can I come?" she looked surprised by my request. She might have wanted to be alone. "Unless you don't want me to." I didn't want to be overbearing but I didn't like the idea of her being alone in the deserted streets at night.

"No, no! Sure you can come" she smiled and sat back down on the bed "I just thought you would ask me not to go so I was surprised when you asked to join"

I didn't really know what to reply so I sat up and rubbed my eyes before making my way to my bag to throw on some sweatpants and a hoodie since it was pretty cold outside. By the time I was ready to go, Lauren was already waiting for me by the door.

"Are you sure you want to come?" she asked

"Are you sure you want me to?" I asked in return. She didn't say anything but extended her hand towards me which I took as a yes.

I accepted her hand and intertwined our fingers as we made our way through the house, trying to be as quiet as possible.

Once we were outside, I heard Lauren take a deep breath. Her eyes were closed and she seemed so content.

We began to walk without a ingle word being said. We were happy just enjoying each other company and the silent night.

"Sorry about yesterday" Lauren broke the silence after a few minutes of aimless walking.

"What is there to be sorry for?" I was confused, was she apologizing for being gay or for crying over it? Either way, she shouldn't feel sorry about it.

"I let my emotions get the best of me. I shouldn't have bothered you with that and I'm-"

"Lauren" I stopped in my tracks and tugged on the hand I was holding for her to do the same. I looked around us and saw a small park with a few benches on the other side of the street. Perfect. "Let's sit over there" I led her towards one of the benches and turned my body towards her so that I would be able to look at her properly.

"Lauren, I don't think you realize that being there for you is something that I want to do, not something I feel like I need to do." My thumb was caressing the back of her hand gently and our eyes were locked. I needed her to pay attention to what I was saying. "It's only been a few days but I really like you and seeing you in the state that you were yesterday is really heartbreaking. Not because I think you're weak but because I feel like there is nothing I can do to make you feel better."

"But you do" she whispered as a single tear fell from her eye. "Just the fact that you're here makes it better" I brushed away the tears flowing down her face and kissed her cheek, whispering a simple 'Always'. It was only just one word, but yet, in that moment, it felt so powerful.

"There's still so much you don't know about me Camz" her voice cracked and she began to cry against my shoulder "So many things I've been hiding for way too long.

"I'll be there when you're ready" I rubbed her back soothingly. I could feel her tears through the fabric of my sweatshirt but at this point, I couldn't care less.