"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."
-Norman Cousins
Tension fills the air around me the second after I place that gun in Tyler's hand. Everyone waits in anticipation to see what Carters next move will be. What is he going to do to me? Beat me? Kill me? Or will he do nothing and submit like the coward he really is? I don't care either way, it's not like I have anything to lose.
We didn't get much from the run, just two rabbits and the medicine Carter stole from the little boy. It sucks coming back pretty much empty handed, but the rest of the group doesn't realize that Carter is the one to blame.
We all gather in the living room, ready to enjoy a meal before the sun goes down. Mike builds a small pot from stone, just like I had taught myself to do, and cooks the rabbit over the flame. The group sits around it, shivering. Tyler lays on the ground next to me, using his jacket as a pillow. On my other side is Erik. It's unusual having a foreign presence next to me, and my guard is up.
I'm still angry over what happened, but the sound of Tyler's steady breathing calms me down. As long as he's still breathing, I'll be ok.
The group is pretty divided, everyone sitting in a small cluster away from the rest of the group. Ben has his arms around Louise and Sheridan, sheltering them from the cold as they dozed off. Christie sits with her back against the dark blue and gold sofa holding a fidgety Jolene in her lap. Carter sits atop the sofa that Christie leans on, his gun resting on his thigh. Paul sits next to Dwayne who's head rests on Paul's shoulder. Paul looks super annoyed, but he remains still. Dawn sits cross- legged next to them and Bruce sits next to her. Leroy sits against the wall, the farthest away from the fire. Being ex-military, I know he has done things like this hundreds of times. But I also know how much that can break down a person, especially before being broken was an acceptable thing. Mike and Hattie are huddled next to him, Hattie using Mikes lap as a pillow. Erik is next to them, sitting slightly behind me. And Tyler is next to me. I'm still not quite used to these people, but I hope to become used to them. Well, the majority of them.
"What happened out there?" Erik whispers.
His voice startles me, and I jump slightly. However, I instantly regain my composure, wanting to seem unbothered. Wanting to seem like I'm watching my every word.
"Carter didn't tell you?" I reply, turning to face him.
"Was he supposed to?" Erik shot back.
The group doesn't notice our hushed conversation, emptily staring into the embers of the open flame. So, I decide to continue with the truth.
"Carter killed somebody. A boy, no older than 12. Shot him in the head," I reminisce. "I punched him in the face and pointed his own gun at him. Carter called off the run after that."
Erik doesn't respond. He simply stared at the ground with the same emptiness as the rest of the group. Tyler stirs next to me, adjusting the sweatshirt under his head.
"Thank you," Erik mutters, looking back up at me.
"For what?" I ask.
"For doing what the rest of us can't. Put him in his place."
Now it was my turn to remain silent. It hurts my heart to know the suffering they're going through and the fact they can't change it. They don't deserve him. And he doesn't deserve them.
