"There is just so much hurt, disappointment, and oppression some can take... the line between reason and madness grows thinner."
-Rosa Parks
Everyone looks at me different now. It's been two weeks since I pulled the trigger, but the weight of Carters death is the same. Christie won't even look me in the eye, let alone allow Jolene to be within five feet of me. Still, I stand with my decision.
As I expected, Erik has begun to step up. He's directing group discussions and leading our runs. He's way more level headed than Carter, obviously, and leading seemingly comes at ease to him. And the group seems happy with him on the theoretical throne. Regardless, the most interaction I receive with the people in the group is a sideways glance. The only people at my side are Hattie and Tyler. Even Hattie is a bit cautious with me. She's always looking over her shoulder. But Tyler doesn't care. He always takes it upon himself to ask for my opinion and to include me in whatever we're talking about. His generous behavior has only made me fall harder for him.
Through all this, I've only noticed one unchanging variable. Leroy. The retired veteran who sits in the back of the room. Hattie didn't give me much information on him, other than the fact that he prefers to keep to himself. No matter what happens, his stone cold eyes and blank expression remain. Something's off about him. I can feel it. From now on, I'm gonna open my eyes a little wider.
Despite the occasional run, each day is fairly similar. As the temperature gets colder, our leaving lessens. We start rationing carefully, marking everything we eat and when. Sheridan keeps track of that. She loves organization and it drives her crazy that her brother, Ben, is a slob. She's always cleaning up his messes, but Ben just makes them worse to get on her nerves. I pay attention.
All the meals, group discussions, and any other important thing are held in the living room. Tyler always takes it upon himself to sit next to me. It grows harder and harder to hide my blushing cheeks. But Leroy never moves from the back corner. He always sulks in the shadows like the monsters in the stories my older cousins would tell me. I used to spend the night at their house every weekend, and they never failed to fill my brain with images of vampires that drained the life out of you when you slept and demons that took your family while you weren't paying attention. No one realized that they wouldn't be just stories for long.
Sometimes I wonder what happened to them, but other times I think I don't want to know.
This morning, I woke up to Hattie shaking me timidly.
"Hattie?" I questioned, rubbing my tired eyes. "What's going on? Are you ok?"
"Don't talk. Just listen," she orders.
Slowly, I sit up in my bed.
"What are you talking about-" I try to speak, but Hattie clamps her delicate hand over my chapped lips.
"What did I just say?" She bores her eyes into me.
"Something's up with Leroy," she says.
"As opposed to normal?" I joke.
Hattie huffs angrily and clenches her jaw. Surprisingly, her anger causes a lump to form in my throat. I'm not supposed to talk, I'm supposed to listen. The look in her eyes shows me that what she's about to say must be pretty important.
"Sorry," I mumble.
"Whatever," she shoots. "As I was saying, something's just a little off." She looks over her shoulder, making sure no one was listening. This only drew me in.
