The Bears Shortcoming

Chapter 21 - The Winking Skeever

(4E 202 15th First Seed)

Armeir and I had been travelling together for a day now, and I'm glad I decided to go with him. His stories about Valenwood and his family back there reminded me of my childhood and my mother. I hadn't told him much about me but he didn't seem to mind, I think he understood that I preferred to keep myself to myself, and I appreciated him for that.

"So how long have you been in Skyrim Armeir?" I asked him. We were travelling uphill now and I thought I could see some stone buildings in the distance.

"Only a few weeks. Solitude will be the first city in Skyrim I've ever been to."

"Why solitude?" I enquired.

"I'm hoping to join up with the imperials"

I felt a nasty knot form in my stomach at this and I wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because any mention of the civil war reminded me of Ulfric. Maybe it was because I'd killed hundreds of imperial men.

I looked at Armeir, confused.

"But you're a wood elf; you're from Valenwood, why would you want to join Skyrim's civil war? It makes no sense" I fear I said this rather too loudly and with too much panic, but Armeir just chuckled.

"Back in Valenwood, my family was attacked by the Thalmor because they were suspicious of Talos worship in the village. It made no sense, because we were entirely a bosmer settlement. There were no nords at all. My father said they just wanted an excuse to test their sword arms."

I looked down at the cobbled ground and started to feel a little bad for asking. "I'm sorry-"

"No no" Armeir continued "No one was killed because our village was being visited by general Tullius and his men. The imperials seem to have some sort of uneasy alliance with the Thalmor, and so general Tullius convinced the Thalmor to leave and saved our lives in the process"

"So you're going to fight for the imperials so you can do the same for other villages? You said it yourself Armeir, the imperials and the Thalmor are allies"

Armeir stopped walking and looked at me "Yes, that's what you think, but I think that General Tullius only agreed to the alliance so he has time to build up his forces against the dominion"

And suddenly it all made sense. Armeir was right and I was wrong, a Stormcloak victory ensured that the empire would be driven from Skyrim and so Skyrim would be left weak and vulnerable. An imperial victory was Skyrim's best chance at peace; it was our only hope of a dominion-free country. 

What the hell was I going to do?

I couldn't stand idly by whilst the Stormcloaks advance in the war and strengthen the Thalmors position in Skyrim, I had people I needed to protect! Vex, Brynjolf, the guild... 

But how was I going to join up with Tullius and fight against my brothers and sisters in the rebellion? I was faced with an impossible decision. I knew what I had to do, but my heart was with Ulfric, and I feared it always would be.

(4E 202 20th First Seed)

Armeir and I had arrived in Solitude a few days ago.

It was undoubtedly a very big and very beautiful city, there were people everywhere. There were more shops in Solitude than in any other city I'd been to, and the spiced wine in the marketplace was to die for. But I was struggling to enjoy any of it, for thoughts of the civil war and the man that I loved were clouding my mind.

Armeir was staying in castle dour, training to be an Imperial soldier like he always wanted. I was residing in the lower part of the city.

Solitude was extremely different from Windhelm. Argonians were allowed inside the city of solitude, and unlike Windhelm, elves were allowed to prosper and become functioning members of society. The famous bards college was lead by an altmer, and there were even elves in the blue palace. I felt less out of place in Solitude. 

I had rented out a room in the 'winking skeever' tavern, trying to figure out what to do with myself.

I sat at a wooden table in my room and placed my head in my hands.

It seemed as if nothing could ever go right for me. I was thrown out of my village in Valenwood, I ended up as a thief for the thieves guild, my mother died and everything went wrong. I got caught on a job and ended up fighting for the wrong side of the war, and falling in love with the leader of the rebellion. Not to mention finding out I was Dragonborn.

How am I supposed to save the world when I can't even save the people I love from the war and the dominion?

I chuckled darkly at how badly my life had spiralled out of control. But there was nothing I could do except move on and try to make the right choices from here on out. I finally decided to do something. I put quill to paper, and I wrote:

My Dearest Ulfric,

No doubt you are worried about me. I want you to know that I am perfectly fine and safe.

Although all I want is to return to Windhelm and be by your side once more, you must know that I cannot return and I will not be a part of the rebellion from this day onward.

During my expedition to the Thalmor Embassy, I found out about your involvement with the dominion. I wish you'd have told me to start with, and then we wouldn't be in this mess.

If you truly love me, you will stop this madness and stop this war. Tell your people the truth.

Aiden

I slipped the Thalmor dossier that I had found containing the information on Ulfric into the envelope and sealed the letter. I paid a courier generously to get it to the palace of the kings as quickly as possible.