I'll Fight The Fear Away- Solangelo

Cut On The Line

((AN: self-harm, may be triggering))

Stupid. Why was I so stupid as to tell her.

"Okay," replied Piper cheerily. "So what? Boy troubles?"

"Wait, what? You're not gonna yell?"

"Why would I yell? I like both girls and boys, and Reyna likes girls. So yeah, you're fine!"

"But... it's supposed to be- This isn't how it's supposed to go, Piper! I'm broken!"

"Nico, you aren't broken. It's okay. That doesn't make a difference to me, or to anyone. I'm sure it won't make a difference to our friends."

"No! This isn't how it works! It should be just like last time!"

"Last time?"

I tried to stop myself from saying it, but I was too emotional. "That's how it was when I told Bianca!!" Why did I tell her that?

"Oh, Nico. The world's not like that anymore! Is that what you've been through all this time?" I nodded, tears slipping down my face.

"Look, it's okay! You're safe here," she said, handing me a tissue. "We're not going to disown you or anything. You're not going to be hurt by us."

"You don't understand. When I was growing up, there was a couple... they were like me. They lived down the street from us. And... the government found out. The next morning they dragged them both out into the street and shot them through the head."

"Oh my gods. You- I'm so sorry." She held my wrists gently, and I flinched.

"Does it hurt there? What happened?" She lifted the sleeve of my black shirt to reveal bloody scars. "And this is how you've been punishing yourself for it..."

"I'm sorry, Piper."

"Don't be sorry! I'll get you to the infirmary so we can treat these." The infirmary?! Wi- um, people would be there! They'd see! But Piper pulled my sleeve down and led me to the big cabin, where I'd have to show someone my scars.

"Hey Piper! You seem okay, what does Nico need?"

"Just get a doctor on him, okay?" The red haired girl- Victoria, I think- led me to a back table by the wrist, and I had to fight not to yell.

"Hey there Nico, what's the problem today?" I sighed. Of course they assigned me THIS doctor, Will. I rolled up my sleeves, and prepared myself for a scolding.

Will stood, wide-eyed for a moment. "This... why are you doing this?"

"I can't tell you."

"Nico. You need to tell me why you're doing this. We can't make it better if you don't tell us."

"No!! I'm not going to tell you!"

"Fine! Let me disinfect these, and you have to hand over your razors and other sharp objects, except for swords. Those you can keep." 

"Do you hate me for this?"

"What?! No! It's pretty common. We might need to get you some antidepressants but I think you'll be okay. Piper, you can take him back now."

"Thanks, Will. And I'll make sure I get the razors, okay?"

"Bye, Piper."

"So. You like Will, huh?" I just stared. "Oh, come on! It's obvious, Nico. The way you look at him is actually pretty cute!"

"I still can't get over the fact that you don't hate me."

"Well, Annabeth will."

"What?"

"Yeah. She owes me $10. You know, 'cause you came out to me. She had her money on you being straight."

"What do you mean, straight?"

"You've got a lot to learn, Nico," she said, ruffling my hair. "I'll tell you about it all tomorrow."

It was nighttime now. My wrists were aching from all the disinfectants. Will now had all my razors, my scissors, and my spare dagger for close combat.

I looked across the room at Hazel. "Haze?"

She sat up in her bed, her hair messy. "Hey, Nico," she said, her voice blurry from sleep. "C'mon, get ready for bed. It's late."

I grabbed my toothbrush, and in only a few minutes I was in bed about to fall asleep. "Night, Haze."

"Nico, Piper told me about your... secret." Oh no. Oh my gods. She knew. Hazel knew, it was all over, she knew. 

"I'm sorry. I know I'm messed up."

"Messed up? No, that isn't what I meant. I wanted to congratulate you."

"What?"

"You told someone about what you'd been doing, and you got help." She meant cutting. Oh gods, it was all okay. She meant the cutting.

"Thanks, Haze."

"And Nico?"

"Yeah?"

"For the record... I'm glad you stopped."