Beneath The Surface

Chapter 4

Jamie

I wake up in bed, alone.

With a stretch and sigh, I find myself missing the world of my dreams. I lean over and check Adrien's clock, which reads 9:27AM, as the rain softly pours outside.

The room is dark as I roll over onto Adrien's side of the bed. It's still warm. I smile at the thought that he might've stayed with me all night.

God, if only.

I sigh and reach over, searching through his nightstand's drawers. I pull out the first shirt and shorts I find and put them on, but every move I make to get those two simple cloths on my body are agonizingly painful.

I begin to wonder where Adrien might've gone but then notice the smell wafting through the house.

Mac- n- Cheese.

My stomach rumbles and I excitedly call out.

"Adrien?"

"Morning, Jay," he says as he walks into the room with two bowls of macaroni.

"You are a fucking saint," I say as he places the food on the tray from last night.

He laughs as I sit up gingerly and take the delicious- looking food.

"Don't start eating yet. I got more stuff on the way."

He walks out the room and I ignore his request. He comes back in and catches me nibbling at the pasta, to which he raises a brow. I laugh sheepishly.

Thankfully, he just shakes his head and laughs, too.

He sits a small plate of toast on the tray, along with matching glasses of Coke. He sits down next to me and takes a sip of his drink.

I look at him, impatiently.

"I'm done, Jesus. Eat," he says laughing.

I hand him a bowl and dig into mine. It's delicious. I finally realize how hungry I am as I shovel spoonful after spoonful of four cheesy goodness into my mouth. He laughs to himself and eats patronizingly slowly. I glare at him.

"Shut up."

"I said nothing," he avoids looking at me and continues chuckling. I roll my eyes, laughing.

"You okay?" He asks. I shrug.

"Just sore, mostly."

He touches the back of my hand lightly. I freeze, not wanting to deter him but also not knowing what to do.

After a few seconds he sighs and whispers sadly.

"So... why'd you start cutting again?"

I go stiff and whisper back barely audibly, "Why do you care?"

I brush off his hand and we continue eating in a heavy silence.

Adrien

I sigh loudly, missing the safety and peace of last night.

Why's he mad at me? I mean, he's my best friend, has been for like 8 years. Why wouldn't I care?

Of fucking course I care, James. We've been together through thick and thin. Like the night I found you, and every incident afterward. You were there for me when I got kicked out and you were the first real friend I've ever had.

Of course I fucking care.
I fucking love you, for God's sake.

Wait what?

I duck my head as if he can read my thoughts, eyes wide, and glance at him. He's hunched over his macaroni, pushing the pasta around with his fork. He looks sad.