Beneath The Surface

Chapter 14

Adrien

What the fuck is going on?

I stare at him, incredulous.

He faces away from me, embarrassed. He grits his teeth and squeezes his eyes shut. He quickly stops struggling, giving in to his shame. He just looks like a scared little kid.

I loosen my hold on him and back away, baffled by his actions. I sit on the edge of the bed, staring at the button on my jeans.

What the fuck?

"I need it. I need you."

He said it like I'm some sort of drug.

He sounds like an addict.

He sounds like his dad.

I shake my head, unbelieving.

What the fuck?

I wonder how far it would've gone if I'd just let him.

I shudder at the thought.

I've always wanted him. I wanted to be his first. His only. But...

God, not like this.

I shake my head and rush out the room.

"No, no, no, no, no. Ian. I'm sorry, please. Don't -"

I shut the door behind me and lock myself in the bathroom.

I pace around in the small room before I notice my disheveled reflection in the mirror. My shirt is halfway up my torso and my boxers are exposed.

He was so close to just...

I yank down my shirt and button my jeans angrily.

How could he just... I...

He didn't want this. Obviously. So why? He was always the one to tell me no, so why?

He said he needed me. What am I? His fucking distraction? I'm not a fucking toy.

What the fuck?

He's just freaking out. He didn't know what he was doing. You did the same thing this morning.

It wasn't the same. He's the one who started it. I didn't-

He fucked up. You're not perfect, either.

I know, but... what does this mean?

He just... he doesn't love me, does he?
He just wants a distraction.

He isn't that selfish.

But-

He does love you. Why else would he come to you every single time he's been hurt? Why else would he have stayed this whole weekend? Why else would he kiss you that way?

His kiss...

Normally so sweet and warm and soft.

His lips were so cold. His teeth were sharp and his tongue was blasphamous.

He even tasted different.

He wasn't himself tonight. You can't be mad at him for needing an escape. Of course, he didn't go about it the right way, but he's under so much stress. You promised you'd be there for him.

Now go make good on your promise.

I rub my face and sigh, staring at my reflection.

I open the bathroom door and peer into the bedroom.

"Jamie, I-"

The room's empty.

"Jamie?" I call.

The slamming of the front door is the only response.

Jamie

He slams the bedroom door behind him and I pull my knees to my chest and cry my eyes out.

I even pushed him away. I really can't do anything.

I hiccup, wondering if he's going to kick me out when he gets back. I have no where to go.

For the first time since we arrived home I notice the dim lighting of his room flickering in the warm glow of candlelight.

The sweet scent of cinnamon fills the room and I realize why he had left the car before me.

He wasn't trying to get away from me, he was trying to invite me in and make me feel safe and warm and comfortable.

The guilt continues winding itself through my gut and clawing up my chest.

I can't face him.

Not after this.

I stand unsteadily and run down the hallway and out of the house, slamming the front door behind me.

I run barefoot down the empty street, wiping tears from my face.

I hear a door shutting behind me.

"Jamie?"

I snap my head back and see Adrien looking around worriedly. He notices me.

"Jamie! Wait!"

I run as fast as my feet can carry me, cutting through back yards and alleys. I lose him.

"Jamie! Please!" His voice gets quieter and quieter.

I keep running, gasping for air.

After a few minutes of runing, I stumble into my backyard.

"James!"

I hear his voice coming from somewhere in the brush behind me.

I scramble up the steps of the back patio, finding the sliding door unlocked. I shut and lock it behind me and run silently up the stairs to my room.

I lock my bedroom door behind me and stand in front of my window. Adrien stands in the backyard, hunched over and clutching his stomach.

I didn't expect him to come this far. I instantly feel like a selfish coward. He was just trying to help. He just wanted me to be safe.

He looks up at me, clearly breathing hard. He has a pained look on his face. I hate that I'm the reason for it.

God, I'm so pathetic.

He shuts his eyes as tears slip down his face.

He looks betrayed. He looks devastated.

He turns and runs back through the trees and disappears into the foliage.

I collapse on my bed, crying with the force of a typhoon. Sobs wrack my body and exhaustion soon takes over. I quite literally cry myself to sleep.

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A/n

Sorry about the super short chapter! I couldn't find any other way to cut the previous one.

Also, sorry about the repeated use of this song, I just couldn't find anything else that I love as much I love this one. If you guys have any song suggestions, feel free to pass them along.

But fucking.

As a reader, this is the biggest face palm scene ever.

James fucked up so bad and the thing is, Adrien was gonna forgive him anyway.

But nooooo.

Jamie had to go (literally) run from his problems.

Take that as a lesson, my dudes.

If a hot guy is chasing you because you tried to fuck him, don't run.

Don't run.

>_>

<3 Thanks for reading! <3