Stay Strong

Never Enough?

I couldn't believe it. This was a cycle happening all over again. I went to the bathroom, and closed the door. I pulled the knife out of my drawer that i hide and stared at it. This blade in my hand was not wanted. It was a urge to have this knife in my hands.

I took the blade and put it on my wrist of my right arm. I pressed down as hard as i could and slit my arm. I whined a little at the pain and covered my mouth. The blood started dripping down my arms. I took the knife and placed right underneath the other cut and once again slit my arm. 

The tears started rolling down my face. What am i doing? Why am I doing this? The knife slipped out of my hand and clanked loudly in the sink. I heard footsteps but they passed the bathroom. 

I picked the knife up and prepared to slit my arm again. I was just about to do it when Erik came bursting through the door, "What the hell Skylar! What are you doing!" he yelled at me while swiping the knife out of my hand. He yelled at Michelle, "Hey get some bandages and paper towels!" "Why what happen-" she stopped when she saw my arm and teary eyed face.

She ran off to get both and left cause we didn't have any bandages. "Gosh, Skylar what were you thinking? Was it urges?" He wouldn't let me answer ay of his questions. i couldn't tell if he was angry or worried.

He scooted me into his lap and used toilet paper to try to stop the bleeding. He was careful not to hurt my arm. I couldnt read his face.

Michelle came sumbling back into the house with bandages at the ready. "You could have told me you didn't have any Skylar!" she yelled at me while tossing the bandages to Erik. He took my arm in one hand and the bandages in the other. 

The whole time he was bandaging my arm he didn't say a word. He didn't even look at me. To me it looked as if he was really pissed off. Should i be nervous?

                                                                                    (T.T) 

After some time passed it was truly 3:00 in the morning. My mind was still swirling around the fact that Erik was probably really pissed at me. He was sitting on the couch in the living room and i was in my bedroom with Michelle. 

"Why did you do it? I mean seriously Skylar, why?" "I don't know," i began responding, "I think my urges just came back to me. It was like all last night was a dream. None of it was real." She put her hands up like she was at gun point and said, "Mofo you have lost your mind. Now i dont know what goes on in that head of yours, but what ever happened was probably real."

She slapped me on the back hard and i coughed loudly. "What was that for!" I shouted. She shrugged and just hugged me. What was she getting at? Was that punishment for hurting myself? She let me go and pulled up a song on my phone. 

It was a song called Leave Me Alone by Alexander Rybak. She pulled me up off the bed and we both started dancing. I couldnt resist the song.

                                                                                 violin opening

It stared with a call i stupidly answered. You said yu got my number from one of the dancers. You waited right outside, you had something on mind. But then i saw your eyes, your crazy eyes.

Now you got me into something very sick and twisted. An evil kind of game I didn't know existed. Your traveled overseas to terrorize me. And i don't understand, why can't you let me be?

Beleive me when i say you stupid fool! Youre scaring me to death that's not cool! Why won't you leave me alone? Just leave me alone! You're crazy leave me alone!

You're scaring mom and dead scaring off my girlfriend.You're waiting by my door early in the morning. Ive told  you many times dont follow me at night. You're poisoning in my life just tell me why!

Believe me when i say you stupid fool. Youre scaring me to death thats not cool. Why won't you leave me alone? Just leave me alone! You're crazy leave me alone!

Ibeg of you to stop and think this through. It's time you started playing with someone new. Why won't you leave me alone? Just leave me alone! You're crazy leave me alone!

Suddenly the door to my porch opened and closed. I left Michelle alone to do the i can't dance dance. I  looked out onto the porch and saw Erik curled up on one of the porch's swinging sofa. I slowly opened the porch door and joined him out there. 

"I'm sorry for doing what i did. My urges just came at me too srong. I guess what happened last night just didn't seem real enough for me." He looked at me and i saw tears welled up in his eyes. "Are you mad at me? Are you mad at yourself?" He nodded his head to the second response. "You shouldn't blame yourself for something I did. It was my fault for not believing what happened." He uncurled and put his head on my shoulder, 

I guess what he did there was pretty much okay. I felt more relieved and pained all at once. My urges were gone and i wanted to make things better. I was going to make thing better.

Nothing was going to stop me.    

I had to finish this sooner or later so dont jude me! The singer and i=song i found like just three nights ago and instantly fell in love with him. The vid was so good loved it! hope you enjoy!!!!!