Note: Most of these are changed slightly so that I don't have to include other people speaking
This pillow tastes like salt
My toe nails are so long I could probably stab someone with them. [friends name] come here let me stab you with my toe nails
[brothers name] your hair smells like chlorine and salt but it tastes only like salt. (Close enough to what was actually said)
*door blows open* Go away wind nobody likes you Friend: but you like the fan on Yes, I like the fan but not the wind. (I couldn't think of a way to change this one to suit my lazy needs)
Your leg is fluffy
We're much funnies Too memes
If I die it must be by chocolate
I am always ridiculous
My hairbrush is farting, what the hell
SAND BOOBS (I have a feeling that I'm going to be questioned about this one)
Right in the fold of my noes
Why is noes spelt like toes or am I spelling it wrong (one of the many reasons I need glasses and sleep)
Mmmm stop bleeding, I don't like you blood
Oops I kicked stuff. This is why I shouldn't be allowed to human
Organise organise organise, THAT HAS THE WORD ORGANS IN IT
Friend: are you high? ON LIFE, no don't touch me
But I am stupid
Friend: stripy butt, you've got a stripy butt (in response to my one stripy bikini, also she told me to put this in here)
FLAT ROCKS ARE SATISFYING
(Here have a picture of a flat rock
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For some reason I decided to edit this chapter while very tired and physically ill so there are probably lots of typos but I can't be bothered to fix them
