Fission | Damon Salvatore

5th September 1889 • 1:05am

Dear diary,

You would think that being a vampire for almost 30 years, you would get used to it. But here I am, taking my brother's advice and using a diary to keep all my thoughts in. It all still feels weird.

The constant craving for blood, not being invited into homes. The sun once being a punishment, that was until we got daylight rings.

At this time in the morning, I would stay up. My brother wasn't with me. He hadn't been with me for some time and I always stayed up.

I was buried deep in the forest and had this, a small jar full of blood, and some bread.

To the north of the forest stood Mystic Falls- a town that I spent my life in.

I was distant yet close to it. Although, I kept thinking about my father. How Stefan killed him. And Mother- she was lost to us.

Everyone was lost to me. Right now I was with nature and had been searching for a witch for days so that I could locate Katerina. But I had no luck. No one would help me find her and my anger was just growing. Stefan told me that our emotions were heightened and I had never felt this much anger in my whole life. It was yearning to be released.

There was one thing however, I didn't like feeling.

The anger I spoke about. I would feel it yes? But all of a sudden, it would disappear and I'd wake up in a place I don't recognise.

And every time, I would smell somebody's blood on my clothes.

And every time it would be the witch that made me angry.

I'd think it was a dream, not remembering myself ripping a witch's head off.

As time passes, I have longer blackouts and each time my attacks on them got more violent. That was one thing I didn't understand.

I'd only bring this up now, in here, so I have it written down somewhere.

However, I must get some sleep, hoping that I don't wake up in another strange place.

Till the next one.

Damon Salvatore