Mia.
My mother turns off the car and walks out. She's crying. Probably blaming herself of what's happening to me. And I even start thinking it is her fault. She can't love, so why her daughter can?
I reject those thoughts.
It's not my mother's fault. I'm not a bitch to blame her about my problems. So I go out of the car, and enter the house. I walk to my mother's room. I hear her crying inside, and I'm about to walk in, but I can't hold it anymore.
I start crying too. It feels like crying an entire river, lake, ocean. It's just never enough crying.
I fall laying my back against the wall and cry in the floor.
How could I possibly believe I would be happy?
How could I believe I would finally find love?
I'm no one, I'm not a good person, I don't deserve happiness. So why the fuck did I believe I would be happy now? Kissing my beloved ones, feeling full of joy and love.
How could I believe I would be happy?
My mother opens the door of her room and stares at me crying. She kneels in front of me and covers me up in a hug.
"It's my damn fault, isn't it?" She says.
"It isn't, mother." I say.
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."
"For what?" I ask her.
"For being your mother".
Days go by, I receive calls of my friends or Ethan or Elena. But I don't pick up. I'm not ready yet. I need some time. And then I'll go to them. Then I'll talk to Julian, or Lea, or Ethan, or Lena.
But not just yet. Not now.
So I go to my bed and cover me up with blankets. I turn my tv on, and watch a good tv show. But I can't laugh at the jokes, or feel as they cry. I just can't feel anything now.
I just wish I was sleeping.
Maybe a forever sleep.
I just wish I was dead already.
YOU ARE READING
Eyes don't lie.
General Fiction«"Why are you saying that? Why?" He asks me, with a heavy breath. "Because eyes don't lie and when I look at you both, I know I love you. And I can't stop loving you both, even if that's gonna kill me".» ©All rights reserved.
