First

10. Something Besides Pizza

"No."

I wasn't surprised, not really, but I had some difficulty swallowing my disappointment.

"OK," I managed to reply.

Professor Aggarwal looked at me sternly over her small, circular glasses. "Sleeping in is not a valid excuse for missing a quiz."

"OK," I repeated in a tiny voice.

I chewed on my lip, determined not to cry again. Ever since I'd broken the seal yesterday, the tears seemed to flow of their own account, slipping easily from my eyes when they were least wanted or expected.

"How are you finding the class?" Dr. Aggarwal asked brusquely.

"It's difficult," I said honestly.

"I told you, first class, this program requires team effort. You need to study with your peers. Help each other to understand. You will not get through it, otherwise."

"OK."

"But maybe you were not in my first class," she continued, staring with unnerving intensity.

I didn't reply, but my face flushed with embarrassment.

"I know you," she told me.

Uh oh.

"You have not seemed very... mmm.... attentive, in my class."

I'd slept through almost every class in my first week.

"But I do not remember you dressing this way," she added, one perfectly shaped brow raised disapprovingly at my attire.

I was adorned entirely in black, having selected the most modest of G.G.'s clothes. A black hoodie with a ridiculously large hood and a plunging neckline did little to conceal the giant skull on the front of my tight-fitting t-shirt. On my legs I wore black leggings with half of the fabric missing in odd places. It all contrasted very oddly with my pink running shoes, which were the only things that came from my own wardrobe.

"Someone..." I changed what I was going to say. I got the feeling she wouldn't appreciate me blaming others. "I lost my clothes."

A silver reflection on her glasses obscured her beady eyes as she sized me up.

"It is not easy for women in this field," she said.

I dropped my pencil. The last thing I expected from this hard-nosed professor was motherly-type sympathy.

"I made it," she said, her wide eyes never leaving my face. "Lots of women, they make it. You just have to work hard. Women bring a thing to engineering that the men do not have. My opinion is that the industry is better for having both men and women. I would not want to see you give up."

I picked up my pencil. When I looked up, she was still watching me.

"Come to me with questions, if you are not understanding."

So, does that mean she will let me make up the quiz after all?

"See you Friday." She turned on her chair to face her computer.

Guess not.

****

Scott:        how'd it go?

Sarah:       strange

Scott:        strange?

Sarah:       she 'knows me' lol. i think she remembers me sleeping in class.

Scott:        shit

Sarah:       ya. accountability's a bitch lol

Old Sarah never used that phrase because it included the "b" word. I'd never had much reason to swear before coming here, but curse words had begun to creep into my mental dialogue over the last few weeks. It was possible that the skull on my chest was also having a bit of an influence.