Bones Sister // Jack Hodgins

22

Naomi's pov

I sat on the couch contemplating wether or not to go with Booth to the lab. It had been a couple days since our conversation and I wanted to see Jack. But I was scared.  My bruise had mostly gone away but it was still there.

"Naomi... if we don't leave now I'm going to be late." Booth said. I rub my face and nod.

"Ok... ok let's go before I change my mind." I said and got up and we left heading to his car. We got in and he drove off.

"Wait maybe we should turn back, I-" Booth cut me off.

"Naomi, you are going to be okay. I won't let him hurt you, we've talked about this," he said trying to calm me down. I sighed and nodded knowing he was right. The rest of the car ride was in silence and we soon arrived at the Jeffersonian. I got out and followed him inside. We made a stop at Temperance's office.

"Naomi! Are you ok? Booth told me what happened. Boxing? Really?" She said. I looked at Booth and shrugged.

"Ya, it was an accident though, but he's got one hello of a right hook." I chuckled. She smiled and shook her head. Her and Booth started to talk about a case and I wandered off toward Jacks office. I was almost there before I turned around and walked back. I knew I would have to talk to him some time so I went back in the direction of his office. This happened about three more times before I was standing in the door way of his office. He was looking into a microscope. I stepped inside cautiously. Looking around. His office was much messier than usual.

"Whoever you are go away." He said snapping me out of my thoughts. I didn't say anything and he looked up and turned around. His angry face softened.

"Naomi..." he said and I looked at him.

"You wanted to talk?" I said keeping my distance.

"Yes I um,-" he looked around at the messy work station and at me.

"I didn't expect you to say yes" he said clearing up his office.

"Well I just, I want you to know how much I hate you." I said and his face fell.

"I hate you so much, I can't tell you how angry I am and.... and... how much I hate myself." I can see the tears in his eyes. They were in mine to.

"Naomi-" I cut him off and walked towards him looking up to him.

"No let me finish.. I hate you so much. I hate how you can hurt me and I defend you, I hate how you can make me feel so much pain and have me still love you. I hate that I still love you and there's nothing I can do to change that." I said a tear falling down my cheek. He lifted his hand up and I flinched afraid he would hit me again. But instead he wiped my tear away.

"I hate myself too. I wish I could take it all back. I wouldn't be surprised if this is the last time you talk to me ever. I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror and know what I did. I'm a monster and deserve all the hate you have." He said rubbing my cheek. The faint bruise caught his eye.

"I wish I could hurt you like you hurt me, but I can't. God Jack why did you do this to us? We were happy-"

"We lost a child Naomi, how were we happy?" He asked.

"we had each other, we could have tried again-"

"You didn't want to!" He yelled. I flinched and stepped back.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell, I just, I don't know what else to say other than I love you and I will never forgive myself." He said. I didn't look at him. I stared at the ground and nodded.

"I know..." I said and wiped a tear.

"Will we ever be together again?" He asked sitting on a couch. I looked at him, his eyes puffy.

"I don't know, I don't know if I'll ever forgive you for this. But I do know that I won't stop loving you, no matter what. Even if I try to and I'm trying, I can't because you.. ignite something in me and it makes me feel.... alive, but then I think of this and my heart breaks. Cause I think how can someone I love so much, someone who cares so much and is kind and thoughtful and beautiful, be so... nasty." I say and I stand over him. He covers his face with his hand.

"God Naomi Im so so so sorry," he said crying. I was crying too.

"I hate that I still want you to be with me even though I hurt you. I'm selfish, but I love you too much to care." He said. I sighed and looked around.

"I have to go." I said and he stood up quickly taking my hands into his own l.

"Please don't leave yet, it's been weeks since I've seen you. I can't take you leaving again." He said. I shook my head.

"I need to go Jack." I said and pulled my hands out of his own gently and walked out of his office. Not looking back.