Poisoned Rose (Heatwave x Quickshadow)

5. Apologies

Part of the reason Quickshadow went solo was to escape the truth of what she'd done.

She couldn't face the fact that she'd brought about the death of her own sister, so she ran away from it.

Which was what she was currently trying to do, but this time it was from Heatwave.

Quickshadow hated that she was unable to stand up against the torrent of new responsibility and emotion that had shoved itself at her in the past few months. Yes, she would admit that she had gotten tired of mission after easy mission, and being without other Cybertronians for so long, but when Optimus had finally responded to her calls, the absolute last thing she had expected were orders to join another unit. Quickshadow recalled the feelings of utter dismay that had resurfaced when he told her what her next mission was. His exact words of their previous conversation echoed in her processor—"I have a new mission for you. And brace yourself, because this one will be different, and I know for a fact that it will take some getting used to."

Take some getting used to? As if she could have prepared herself for this. All those years she had spent shoving the memories deeper and deeper into her mind until they were all but forgotten suddenly seemed pointless because of how quickly they had come back.

Quickshadow found herself instinctively heading for the ocean. She didn't know what was so calming about the water—at least, as long as she wasn't in it or on it. She guessed it was the sound, the ways the waves crashed down against the strange gritty substance humans called sand.

There was nothing like that on Cybertron. Quickshadow was beginning to think that Earth was even prettier than their late home--actually, that wasn't surprising, considering the state it was in. Any planet was prettier than the war-ravaged, broken, deserted world of Cybertron.

The white femmebot reached the beach, transforming and plopping down on the still-warm sand, stretching her legs out in front of her. She released a heavy sigh and laid down, rolling on her side to prevent sand from worming its way into her sensitive wing spoilers. Quickshadow squeezed her optics shut to stem the tears that were welling up in the corners--wait, what? She wasn't seriously about to cry about this, no way. No, she definitely wasn't, because if she did that would make her almost as dense as Heatwave, she thought with a chuckle. That wasn't about to happen.

She didn't want to think about what had just happened. Had she made a mistake, bringing Rose here? Maybe she should have just left the sparkling where she found it and never have gotten herself into this mess.

"Quickshadow?"

A deep, gruff voice startled her out of her thoughts and she sat up abruptly, turning to find the last bot she wanted to see right now hovering nervously above her.

"Uh...hey."

Quickshadow couldn't look Heatwave in the eye as he knelt in the sand beside her, tracing patterns in it slowly as he debated on what to say. "Hey, uh....look. What I said back there....um....I didn't mean any of it, okay?"

Quickshadow fixed her optics on the distant horizon, stubbornly refusing to look at the firebot. He sighed and moved to sit beside her, patting the sand next to him.

"C'mere."

She scooted farther away, her back still
towards him. Another sigh from Heatwave.

"Don't be like that."

Quickshadow's shoulders sunk in defeat and she begrudgingly dragged herself over to him, still not meeting his fiery amber optics. Heatwave offered her a small smile, but she ignored it and continued staring at the ocean.

Heatwave's smile vanished and his gaze dropped to the sand, feeling his spark sinking in guilt and defeat. "I...I messed up big-time back there, and I'm....I'm sorry, okay? I don't want to be the reason you leave. I want you to stay, it's just...."

He trailed off, fumbling for the right words to say. Heatwave had never been good with words. He preferred to let his actions speak for him, much like the femme sitting beside him. He released one last sigh.

"It's just...I'm not ready for this kind of job. It's...it's not my thing." He finished, his gaze following hers to the horizon.

"I understand if you want me to get rid of her."

Quickshadow's voice startled Heatwave with the sudden sharp tone it took on. "What? No! That's not what I meant at all! What I'm trying to say is that this isn't your fault or Rose's. If it's anyone's fault," Heatwave hesitated for a moment, "it's mine."

Quickshadow's helm swiveled up to glance at him, her optics shimmering through the dimming twilight. "How is any of this your fault, Heatwave? I brought the sparkling here. I shouldn't have forced this upon you or your team...and for that I'm sorry." Her gaze dropped again and she drew her knees up to her chest, burying her face into her plating.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder, and she lifted her head to find Heatwave closer to her frame than any bot had been in a long time. "Hey. It's okay. I'm not trying to blame anyone for anything." His voice was unusually soft. "I didn't mean anything I said. I was just...angry. Not at you, at myself. For not assuming responsibility and dealing with Rose like I should have. Like a leader should have."

Quickshadow smiled, hope rising in her spark at Heatwave's words. "Is that implying that Rose can stay for the time being?"

Heatwave gently squeezed her shoulder. "Of course."

Quickshadow's grin widened and she yanked Heatwave into a brief but tight hug, nuzzling her face into his neck cables. He smelled like machinery and oil, with an undertone of something that hinted at copper.

It was undeniably Heatwave, and she undeniably loved it.

When the pair parted, Quickshadow finally realized how close their faces were, specifically their lip components. She could easily kiss him right now if she wanted to, but she wasn't sure Heatwave would react positively to that course of action. Even so, she found herself leaning in, their olfactory sensors touching lightly as their faceplates grew ever closer.

"T-thank you..." Quickshadow breathed, optics sliding closed as Heatwave's servos began to wander. Her legs laced around his waist, their faces so close Quickshadow could feel his breath on her cheeks.

Their lips were centimeters from touching when Quickshadow suddenly snapped out of the trance, tearing out of Heatwave's grasp in a frenzy of horror and regret. "I-I shouldn't have done that. I-I'm sorry, Heatwave. Thank you for letting Rose and I stay, it truly is appreciated."

And with that she was done, leaving a flabbergasted Heatwave standing on the darkening beach to wonder what in the All Spark just happened.