captive 》h.s au

chapter six

"How has your morning been, Ms. Tanner?" Donovan asks me. He's walking me through the hallways down to lunch, and since it's only noon, I haven't left my cell besides breakfast this morning.

"It was fine, I guess. Being locked up in a cage for hours on end really gives me time to think though." I sigh, thinking of all the things that kept me up last night. My father, his hatred for me, and my mother; who burned down to the ground with that uninviting house.

He smiles at me. "And what might a smart girl like you be thinking about for hours at a time?"

I laugh at his comment. "First off, I am definitely not smart. And let's just say I spent most of yesterday and this morning thinking about my parents." I'm pretty sure Donovan was unaware of why I was put in Rigley's, so I know I'm going to be telling him my story as we continue our walk to lunch.

"I see. Miss them already? You've only been here for a week, don't get too homesick." He chuckles to himself and let's go of my arm.

I look down in shock, at the place his hand should be. "Are you insane? Why did you let me go?"

"Because I trust that you won't run away. Now answer my question."

I smile at him in appreciation. Finally, someone here doesn't think I'm insane. "Oh, about that, trust me, I'm not homesick. Not even a little bit." We walk passed more patients, their arms flailing out of the bars, reaching for any sort of help. I hate walking down the F hall, these people make me sad and uncomfortable. I keep my eyes set on the ground to avoid eye contact with any of them. "You don't know why I'm in here, do you?" He shakes his head. "Okay, well actually, I'm in here because of my parents. They neglected me since I was young, and I guess you could say they fucked up my mind quite a bit. I've had depression for most of my life and self harmed since I was twelve." I lift up my left sleeve to expose 9 fresh cuts.

Donovan's arm shoot over to mine, quickly pulling the sleeve down. "Do you know what the warderpn would do to you if she saw those?" He looked behind us nervously. "How do you even do that in here?" I could see the sympathy in his eyes, making me realize that I could trust Donovan.

"There's a loose screw on the side of my sink. It's pretty small, but sharp enough to do the job." Talking about this is slightly embarrassing. Self harming isn't something you can just stop doing, it's a sickness. My first night here was spent searching for a sharp object in my room, the best I found was the small screw.

"You shouldn't do that yourself Brea, but, I'm not here to judge you. Back to your story?" His arm found my back and he patted my shoulder blade, it was honestly quite comforting.

"Long story short, I accidentally started a house fire." I began. Deep down, I wonder if it was even an accident. Maybe I purposely dropped the match in hopes that I would die in that fire too, and put myself out of my misery. Just the thought of it makes my head start to throb. "My mom was asleep in her room. I saw the opportunity, and I took it. I left her in there." My breath was getting shorter and my stomach churned as I said all of this out loud. I wish I could forget this all, everything that I've been through, and just spend the rest of my life in some far away place, away from all of this.

"That's terrible Brianna, I'm sorry you had to go through that."

His words are making it worse. The pounding in my head amplifies causing me to shut my eyes and cover my ears.

"Woah, wait Brea are you okay?" Donovan reaches for my arm to steady me but is swat it away.

"Get away from me, I don't belong here, someone help me!" I yell out down the long corridor. I'm just like these other people, this place is making me crazier than I already was. Tears start pouring down my cheeks and I stop walking. Donovan stops also, and once again try's to help me. Big mistake. I lash my arm across him and smack his hands away from me. "I said to get the fuck away from me!" Once I look around and see many other patients and guards watching me, I scream again. "All of you! Just get away from me!" My sobs grow louder and I attempt to run back to my room. Donovan reaches for my arm, but misses. I take my opportunity to sprint forward as fast as I can. Donovan's voice grows louder, and I turn around to see him right behind me. Before I get any farther, I slam straight into someone.