Intoxicated

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His breathing was shallow as if out of breath. He has his necktie loosened. It was something out of the norm in a banquet, but he doesn't care. He poured another flute of champagne. Then another, and another. He didn't stop until his face is flustered red.

He was out there in a corner, alone, lingering in his small space of self-pity from his performance. He looked so small, so fragile that I wanted to scoop him up and carry him away from this judgemental world. I saw what he felt when he refused my offer of a commemorative photo. I was so damn stupid at that time, I didn't even think about his feelings. I only thought about mine. I was so focused on my feelings about always winning, like it felt more like a job that is necessary to do to survive.

But as what as I have seen him right now, there is someone else in this room who felt emptier than me.

Katsuki Yuri.

The name echoed through my mind. Should I go ahead and comfort him?

I didn't know what to do. All I know is that I felt somewhat responsible for this man, that I should've gave him a pat on his back and assuring him that there is still hope instead of offering a damn commemorative photo.

I looked at him at a distance. I didn't want him to catch me noticing him so I looked away.

But his presence was somewhat enthralling; I looked at his face once again and our eyes locked.

I did not even notice that he was glancing at me when I looked away and pretended not to see him.

He walked slowly towards me. Despite being drunk, his footsteps were light and calculated, like he was doing a waltz in this ballroom.

I could not look away from him. There is something in the way he moved, as if his movements were in harmony of Satie's Je te Veux that is played lightly by the pianist's fingertips brushing on the keys.

As the notes of the piece progressed, he was in front of me.

"Viktor, shall we dance?"

I was lightly taken aback by the invitation. He took my hand and said, "Please?"

A man asked another man to dance. I wanted to refuse, but I was reminded of what I did earlier.

I went with him hand in hand. I didn't know what to expect, but when he started swaying me to the music, I instinctively started the footwork of my piece. To my surprise, he caught up and he improvised.

We danced, we laughed, we twirled around the dance floor. We owned the floor like wildfire; the wind did not bother us, it made us stronger. Our bodies were entwined, moving to its own accord, our flames getting brighter as the music intensified. We didn't care. We were fire. We brought light to the room, spreading the warmth that a sparrow needs; steady and consistent. I wanted to stop time, freeze what is happening around me, and stay at this very moment where my heart was content and I felt alive. I didn't want to stop. But just like other things, it has an end.

I bowed at my partner and looked at him for the last time. He stared at me, and then moved on to another skater and danced with him.

I didn't know what to do. My head was in the clouds. I couldn't be drunk, I'm Russian! It will take several gallons of vodka to make me feel dizzy.

And then I looked at him again swaying and dancing to the music. It was as if his body was made to harmonize to the music, like his body is the physical manifestation of music itself.

There I realized I wasn't drunk. I was intoxicated. Not with alcohol, but with the presence of Katsuki Yuri.

I wanted him badly. I wanted him alone. I needed even just the brush of his fingers against mine to make me shiver with life.

I didn't care what people will think. I grabbed a bottle of champagne, quaffed it off, and walked straight towards him.

"Viktor!!!!"

I stopped in my tracks. He was looking right in my eyes. I saw him run towards me with his arms outstretched. He fell right into my arms.

"Viktor, if I win the dance off, will you be my coach? Be my coach Viktor!!!!"

And that was it. He hugged me more tightly. I could not say anything.

After that, everything was a blur. I lost my own presence of mind, drank straight off the bottle together with the other skaters and lost our etiquette that night. Just like Christophe's clothes, our control were lost as everyone, including Yurio, do not want to lose the fight.

Everything happened in a blur. Everyone got drunk, took pictures, and I ended up with Yuri sprawled on the floor with just his boxers on.

"Viktor... Please stay with me. " I smiled at him and said, "I wont leave you."

I sat on the floor with him. He rested his head on my leg, and I lifted him up so he can rest on my shoulders. I looked into his eyes. Here he is, so drunk that he would probably cannot remember what happened tonight.

He wrapped his arms around me. "You feel so warm Viktor. I wanna stay beside you."

I wrapped my suit around him. I carried him in my arms to bring him to his hotel. It didn't take much time to locate his room, so I brought him inside and set him down on his bed.

He was nearly asleep. How his drunken escapade blew me away, I will never know why. All that I will remember is that I finally felt what love is after losing it all these years, after losing myself and lost my love for skating.

I will remember how his body moved in time with the music. It doesn't matter if he was drunk. I was lost into the music, I was intoxicated to the beat of Katsuki Yuri.

I tucked him under the covers with my suit still on him. I took one last look at his face. I brushed my hand against his cheek and sighed. He'll probably never remember this night, the night that will forever be imprinted into my memory. He will remain a star, so far away, and I will be left in oblivion with my usual life while he recovers from his own wounds from his own battle. Until the day when we are destined to meet again, I will wait for him.

I got up from his side when I felt a slight tug in my sleeve.

"Viktor? Please dont leave," he said with his eyes half-open.

"Very well then, Yuri." I smiled and lied down beside him. In an instant he snuggled in my chest. I wrapped my arms around him.

If given a chance to have a wish fulfilled in this world, I'll wish for this moment. I wanted this to happen every night, going to my home to see him lying in bed with that innocent look on his face. I want him in my arms, his head against my chest, and the aroma of his hair intoxicating my very spirit.

Our bodies entwined once again, but now in a rather euphoric peace. For the first time in years I could sleep with a happy heart.

"Good night, Yuri."

I felt his head raise.

"Good night too, Viktor..."

And his lips reached for mine.

We slept through the few hours that we have together.

I didn't care if he will never remember.

But deep down in my heart, I know, time wouldn't matter. This night will remain forever in my mind, a treasured memory of a love that was found in a night of intoxication and losing it when daybreak comes and consciousness rushes in.

No matter how long it will take Yuri, I'll wait for you. I'll wait for the day when you'll remember this all. I hope you remember tomorrow. If not, I will still remain here for you, even if it takes forever.

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⏰ Last updated: Jan 02, 2017 ⏰

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