they pile up eventually
the total sum of those who "liked me"
the amount that "likes me"
changes
churning
constantly
like an ocean. i am in love
with being loved.
the chase, not the capture.
the end, but not the rapture
because chasing me
is ninety percent
of the fun stuff.
flirting.
teasing.
not the sloppy touching
the actual
physicality.
too messy.
some of the boys are
intelligent. they can talk about
music and religion
and joke
with a light heart.
some understand me.
or at least attempt to.
other boys are menacing
talking about sex
and sex
forgetting their age until they're reminded
i am made fun of
by my friends.
they say
every boy in the school likes you.
you don't take your opportunities.
you have so many chances
and yet
you still complain.
i know.
i already know.
stop reminding me.
i don't mean to attract them
it's just
every conversation i have
with anybody identifying of
the male gender
seems to end with
"i would do stuff with you"
i don't care
let's talk about movies
"yeah i've dated people so i know what to do"
i don't care
let's discuss our childhoods.
"you're so cute"
i don't care.
it happens
and happens
and happens
and it never stops.
but i guess it's better
than no boys at all.
YOU ARE READING
poems they'll never see
Poezjai'm a pussy and these are words i didn't say because i was afraid i'd sound too smart. i also don't give a shit how this does in terms of "popularity" because this is simply another journal; just digital instead of paper and ink.
