I'm Judah

Chapter 1.

                                I'm Judah

Judah *POV*

My life is nothing but a nightmare that I have to live with open eyes. The shadows from my past taught me more than I can relinquish or take back. Moving forward has never been so hard has never been so uneasy and unknowing and very very scary. I knew the real world was going to be hard but I didn't know it was going to be this hard. I didn't know that there was things that when I was a child I thought was fake or it was unrealistic but now is something that is haunting me that is following me. I don't know that adult thing was going to be as difficult and as hard as my parents actually made it out to be but now that they're gone what is there much I can do. I guess I got to just keep living through this nightmare and get through but when is it going to stop oh I don't know. Hopefully soon I would presume I hope hope is something that is ridiculous but it's something we all crave when we are put in a position where it's the only thing that we can crave. My life Judah Sullivan MayWinn Will change forever and I wish I had known that before it happened and before everything went down shit's Creek But who am I to say am I right?

Chapter 1. New Life

Putting the last box in my apartment I flop on to the floor. I know this isn't modest to be spread on your new or semi new apartment floor but being able to move all by yourself with a bunch of heavy boxes I mean I give myself a pat on the back.

But my job is never done. I look around the tiny apartment with all of my boxes filled with clothes, shoes, blankets, and other merchandise. I slowly bring myself back up and get to my feet. This apartment isn't going to miraculously unbox  itself I should probably get started

Hours later...

Finally semi finished I go and run a cool bath. Taking off my clothes piece by piece. My figure is not pette but then again it's not huge either.  I then undo my double french braid and let my long black hair cascade
down to my lower back.

I stare at my naked body in the mirror.

My glistening hazel eyes shinning right back at me. Turning around I slip into the bath tub and relax and let my strain muscles losen.

I think about my new future back home back where I wanted to leave so bad and now I'm too excited to be back I don't understand this feeling but this feeling is the best feeling that I could have gotten in a while.

I don't know what my life will bring coming back, I feel foreign to be honest even though I live half of my life here it's still a major foreign feeling for me and what I've been through back then to only come back to same country but different place almost feels like coming back to a toxic relationship

but not at the same time

being that I'm on my own but I guess I've never understand the feeling of home and what it truly is and why I feel the way I feel but hopefully things will change coming soon.

My life here I believe will be very different than it was back then where things were very difficult and hard and life was just too overbaring and I didn't think that I could fix it or anybody in my life at the time could fix it

I took running away as my answer but coming back made me realize that it wasn't the answer.

many new great and positive experiences have happened to me recently the change is the way that I would think or at least I believe so.

that I feel like it should have removed all that has been done to me.

But let's get real here my mind I don't feel any different but I want to try my best to move on and maybe moving back into a familiar setting will hopefully ease my emotions.